


Satisfied

by PikaChu100



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Arranged Marriage, Alternate Universe - Future, Child Neglect, Established Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Eventual Happy Ending, I'm Bad At Tagging, Implied Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, M/M, Mpreg, Original Character Child, Pro Volleyball Player Oikawa Tooru, Protective Iwaizumi Hajime, Single Parents, Slow Burn, aaaaaaangstttttt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2019-06-06 06:02:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 39,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15188378
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PikaChu100/pseuds/PikaChu100
Summary: The first time they meet is at the alters, the first words they hear from one another is their vows. The first emotion they bare for one another isn't love. They are like Yin and Yang, one is clad in black while the other is in white. Before they know it they are declared married.





	1. I

Hanamaki Takahiro is aware of his family’s high profile in the society since day one, he knows that they are very traditional in some ways. He couldn’t blame them despite loathing every minute of his life because all his family is doing continuing the legacy and maintaining how thing have always work in the Hanamaki household. The Hanamaki is known for producing custom made fine silk traditional wear, they gain their name from preparing garments for the royals and rich. Takahiro being the youngest out of four siblings knows he won’t have a taste of carrying the family name yet freedom is never his too. Always told to be presentable, respectable and not to talk too much at events and just to be there yet fade into the background and known as the fourth son. Not important. Never loved although Takahiro has been obedient, taking the scolding from his parents and siblings with patience and never to cry in front of them because it’s a sign of weakness as he was told at the age of 5.

He wonders if he will ever be satisfied with his life.

And he wonders that even more today when he feels as if all he has done for his family is thrown down the drain without a single care. The taste of betrayal on his tongue spreads in his mouth, betrayal done by his own family. He stands in the room still as a doll, tears streaming down his face while he accepts the reality of his life that at the age of 21 he is sold off by his own family. The aged workers move around him, putting layers and layers of cloth on his body and it doesn’t really take him long to know that they a putting on a Shiro Kakeshita kimono on him. A bridal kimono not to mention he sees the Tsunokakushi in the room.  The kimono is in pristine while with a little red, he can tell by the feel of the silk that is made by his family. He sees himself in the mirror, as pale as the kimono and his hair stands out, Takahiro hates how he looks so helpless.

Alone in the room he waits for his mother to come in with red eyes, when she comes in she wears no hint of sadness or remorse. He should know better than to expect any words of comfort but he does anyway. Of course, nothing she says comforts him and does the exact opposite. “You never changed, always crying over little things. A promise is made to be kept.” She says sternly. “You are to serve the Matsukawa, you will care for your husband, you will lay him and you will not bring shame to our family.”

“A promise that needs to be kept,” Takahiro breathes out. “Even if it means having to give your son away?”

“It is the right thing to do.” She says coldly.

Maybe he is weak that’s why his family has no hesitation of marrying him off. His mother checks him and puts red lipstick on his lips before leaving the room without another word. Takahiro finds himself crying again. Matsukawa is a family that is known in the country, they run a company that owns many businesses. A family that has always been in money and sure everyone wants to be married into the family but not Takahiro, at least not this way where he finds out just 3 days away from the wedding. His world is crumbling, he had everything in plan. He is to stay in the family house until 25 and then move out and pursue a career in art or teach art to children, he would stay away from his family they would love that and he will live his life on his own terms but now it is rob. No one cares that he is breaking down and the only person that would isn’t allowed to see him. Iwaizumi isn’t allowed to see him. 

 “Hanamaki-San, it’s time.”

 

Matsukawa Issei.

That’s the man who is currently beside him as they walk to the shrine, their wedding is in Shinzen Kekkonshiki style and its private with only their parents present. Not even his siblings are present for the ceremony he guesses they’ll be at the after party although, he doubts so. A maiden accompanies the pair to the pavilion where the shrine master and maiden are waiting for them. The ritual starts as it should with the sake, the man beside him is calm and shows no expression which makes Takahiro feel embarrassed with his red rim eyes. After that, his groom as distasteful as it is for him to say it, reads their vows. His voice is deep and composed, he looks a little older than he is. Next, they go ahead with the offering before exchanging the rings.

The ceremony ends after 30 minutes and after a short introduction of the parents from both the bride and groom. After that is another wardrobe change for Takahiro before starting the after party, that’s when Takahiro begins to dread being alive at the very moment. There’s going to be a lot of people from both his and Matsukawa’s side. Takahiro knows he can’t handle his acquaintance very well since he didn’t like most of them and the only one he wants to see is Hajime.

He walks side by side with his newly wed husband who is wearing the straight face he has been wearing since the beginning. The room is full of high-profile families and at a corner he sees his lone best friend, in a black suit and champagne in hand and a worried look on his face. Takahiro forces himself to look away from his best friend knowing if he continues to look he’ll be running there in the stuffy kimono, he’ll grip on his friend begging for help, to take him away from all this. All of this is foreign for Takahiro, the whole idea of being married to someone he doesn’t know. God knows what would happen when they are left alone later. A shiver goes down his spine just thinking about everything that can go wrong.

“Go see your friend,” The man beside him voices.

Takahiro looks at him with wide eyes, “I can’t. Mother will make sure he can’t enter again.”

He sees a frown before it disappears in seconds, “Then, we’ll just greet the elders then we’ll see him.” The man suggests.

Takahiro nods and follows the man as they make their way to the elders that is sitting at one table. The closer they get to the table the feeling of his stomach twisting and throat closing gets stronger and stronger. Issei introduces Takahiro to the elders and they converse in a polite way for a few minutes despite Takahiro only speaks when he is talked to, he was never a great conservationist in the first place and being thrown into a pool of people who are much older than him just didn’t help. Although he’s thankful for Issei who’s able to keep on talking. They excuse themselves just to see the elders from Hanamaki’s family. If you think Takahiro can talk then you are wrong. He knows that they didn’t really give a damn about him, the fourth son isn’t important as the first son is. His brother looks straight at him with a look of pride as if it is the first time he has done something to be proud off and it makes him wonder is any of his family members even cares about how miserable he is feeling inside.

Finally walking up to Hajime who is still distant from the crowd, Takahiro finds himself relaxing a little, all the stuffiness and knots are entangle. Issei becomes quiet as they approach Hajime.

“Hiro,” Hajime breathes out.

“Hajime…” Takahiro tries to smile. “Thanks for coming.”

Hajime smiles a pained smile, “Wouldn’t miss it for the world. Won’t you introduce me to your groom?”

“Ah, Matsukawa-san, this is my best friend, Iwaizumi Hajime.” Takahiro says. “Hajime, this is my husband, Matsukawa Issei.”

There was a silent pause before Issei speaks first, “Nice to meet you, Iwaizumi-san.” Issei offers a hand.

Hajime takes the hand firmly, “Likewise Matsukawa-San.”

 “It’s a shame you couldn’t be there for the ceremony… It would bring my bride more comfort if you were.” Issei glances at Hito for a split second before turning back to the man in front of them.

“You see, Hiro’s mother isn’t fond of me being with him a lot.” Hajime takes a sip of his drink. “It would give him more terror than comfort to be honest.”

Before Issei could enquire about the statement Takahiro diverts the topic. “You aren’t driving, back are you?” Takahiro asks his friend, worried.

“I got a room at a hotel nearby, don’t worry. I’m not stupid.” Hajime shakes his head.

“You’re an air head.” Takahiro has no hesitation when he says it.

“You know, if it were any other day, I’d have a ton of black mail material just by looking at you. But somehow this isn’t funny seeing you like this.” Hajime sighs.

“Hajime stop,” Takahiro breathe out feeling tears threatening to pool around his eyes.

“Iwaizumi-San. Please continue to look after my husband in my absence.” Issei politely pleads.

Hajime lets out a dry laugh, “Oh hell no, that’s my line Matsukawa-San. I believe I’ve been looking after him for too long.”

Takahiro is ready to punch Hajime in the face for saying that but Issei cuts him, “But you see, I barely know my husband. So, having someone he’s comfortable with by his side is best. For him.”

Hajime stares at Issei for a moment before agreeing, “Alright but don’t expect me to be there all the time. I hope you could get to know him.”

“I mean Hiro is fairly easy to please.” Hajime adds.

“Are you saying I’m easy?” Takahiro grumbles.

“Maybe.” Hajime shrugs.

Issei chuckles softly which takes Takahiro by surprise. “Iwaizumi-san, I hope we can be friends too.”

“That depends on how you treat Hiro.” Hajime has a scary smile on his face.

Their conversation is cut short when Takahiro’s sister in law comes and informs him that his mother wants to have a word with him. And Issei swears that he sees all the colour on Takahiro’s face drain. The male is back to being tense and the way he glances at Iwaizumi as if he is screaming help or run, just confirms that he’s scared of something. Takahiro excuses himself and leaves the two alone.

“In all seriousness, please talk care of him. He doesn’t need a lot just be there when he really needs you to be.” Hajime stares at Takahiro’s back.

“What is he so afraid of?” Issei has a tone of annoyance in his voice which ticks Hajime off.

“I get that you probably don’t care for him, can’t blame you either – everything is too sudden. But do not ever bring it up unless he does first.” Hajime warns.

“I can’t promise you that.” Issei shrugs. “Curiosity kills.”

“Then maybe we can’t be friends after all.” Hajime mutters.

Issei’s lack of expression doesn’t make it easy for Hajime to read the male.

“That’s fine by me, I never had a lot of friends.” Issei displays a smile before excusing himself to rescue Takahiro.

 

 

Issei leans into the tub and sighs at the feeling of hot water on his tense muscles. Everything is finally over and he couldn’t wait to get back to work tomorrow. Takahiro is already asleep in bed, he didn’t care. Issei has no planning of sleeping with the male, there is no attraction between them and laying with the male isn’t something he or Takahiro would want. It’s only his family who wishes for it then by all means they should be the one to be laying with the man.

He knocks his head back and closes his eyes seeking for a little bit of peace but then his phone starts ringing with an obnoxious custom ringtone – he was seriously going to kill this guy. Without a thought he picks it up.

“What the hell was that ringtone?” Issei cusses.

“Aaaah~ Matsun don’t be like that. You know you like it.” He hears a giggle.

Issei sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, “What do you want?”

A hum comes through, “How was it? The wedding.”

Issei scoffs. “If you are so curious why didn’t you come? Jack ass.”

Issei gets a whimper and a whine as a reply, he’s more than ready to drop his phone in the water if he continues to make that sounds. Sensing his annoyance, the person on the line laughs, “Can’t blame me, it wasn’t my decision to have a wedding on the same day I have to flying to Toronto.”

“Yea, but you could have stopped by.” Issei groans.

“Why? To see you miserable? I’ve seen you being miserable many times before. Didn’t need to see that again.”

Issei sighs, there it is the double meaning words and any other night he would have try to deny it and say everything is alright the way it is but tonight he is far too tired to even try. “Don’t you enjoy seeing people like that though? You get off when it’s Ushijima who’s suffering.”

“That guy deserves it anyway!” A sharp protest comes through.

“Yeah, yeah whatever Tooru, I’m going to go now. Got work tomorrow.” Issei is beyond ready to hang up.

“What about honeymoon? I thought it was tradition?” Tooru questions him.

“No traditions for us.” Issei mutters. “Can I please go now Tooru?”

“Fine, I’ll call you when I get back to Japan. Have a great night!” Tooru’s voice drops into a sulky tone.

Issei hangs up after bidding a goodbye to the male on the line. He places his phone at the dry side of the tub and gets out of the bath. It doesn’t take him long to get dressed and to fall asleep.

 

Takahiro wakes up by the sound of the bedroom door shutting, he sits up slowly while rubbing his eyes willing the sleepiness and some left over fatigue to go away, he looks to the side and it’s clear that Matsukawa has already left. Takahiro would say he’s disappointed but not surprise at this fact, it’s just how things are going to be now. He better gets out of bed and out of the room before he gets on his mother in law’s bad side.

 

“You’re up earlier than I expected, Issei already left for work.” The woman sighs and shakes her head.

“Does he always go out this early?” Takahiro notices that the clock is barely showing 7 am. He knows Matsukawa has left for a good 15 minutes ago.

“Yes, I guess you must expect him to be like this from now on,” The woman places a plate on the table.

Takahiro helps her at the kitchen without being ask to, “Well life is about adapting.”

“Indeed, it is, I reckon today you will need to greet the ancestors and there’s a guest coming. You will accompany me to entertain them. You don’t have any classes, today right?”

“No class, should I be in a Kimono?” Takahiro asks.

“Of course, that is a given.”

 

Before serving the breakfast in the dining room Takahiro is brought to another room which looks like it’s used for when guests are here. He could see the small ancestor shrine in the room, he follows the woman and easily does the ritual that the woman says she does every day before breakfast. “Since you are now the oldest son in law, it will become your duty one day I insist that you start doing this with me daily.”

“Of course, mother in law.” Takahiro nods.

“After breakfast, go to the store at the back and take out a tea set.” She instructs him and again he complies.

 

He unlocks the store room and enters it, the light flickers on to reveal boxes upon boxes stored in it. Takahiro avoids the big boxes and instead looks for a medium size box that is placed at a somewhat easily accessible place, if it is something that is used often enough then it wouldn’t make sense to keep it somewhere hard to get it when guests are coming. And his thought is proven right when he sees a red silk cloth covering a tall box, he unties the cloth and sees a tea ceremony set and beams.

“Found it.”

Takahiro brings it out of the store – not forgetting to lock the place before heading to the kitchen. He cleans it with ease as it’s not his first nor will it be his last time to be handling such tea sets. The only time he could please his mother back home is when he performs the tea ceremony for the guests. He always got praises for being great at it from visitors but of course it his mother’s eyes it is only expected of him. His mother in law seems to be like his mother in this aspect, glad that she did not need to tell him what or how to do and instead just straight on leaves it to him.

“I will place a kimono in your room, after you’re done you must get ready for the guests to arrive.” The woman wipes her wet hands on her apron.

“I will do just that. Ah, shall I set up the tea ceremony right away too?” He places the tea cup he just cleaned down to look at her.

“Of course.”

 

Takahiro sticks by his mother in law’s side as the company for the afternoon arrives. A woman of older age with a younger man who looks like he’s Takahiro’s age sporting a healthy glow that screams knocked up in his eyes. The male is a beauty and Takahiro starts to feel small in the presence of this male yet he is glad that he is not wearing a feminine kimono, it fits him rather comfortably and is in the colour blue with white koi patterns. His mother in law leads the way while Takahiro tails behind the young male. They are lead to the living room, Takahiro takes it as his cue to start the tea ceremony when both guests are seated. 

His fingers move swiftly and there is no hint of hesitation in his movement – none.

If there is one other thing he could name bring a perk of living in the Hanamaki’s house hold beside the love of art he acquired, it would be tea ceremony.

 

“I see you’ve got yourself a very handsome and skilful son in law, Matsukawa-san.” The older woman who introduces herself as Sawamura Miya looks at Takahiro fondly.

“Indeed, I have, but I’m not surprised. He is from the Hanamaki Clan.”

“Hanamaki?” The younger male, Sawamura Koushi questions.

“The family that made your wedding kimono.”

“Ah, that piece of art.” Koushi smiles, “I’m glad I am able to meet one of the family members.”

Takahiro shakes his head, “Your praises are far too much I must say. I had nothing to do with the making of your kimono, Sawamura-san. I am merely a fourth son.”

 “You’re too humble for your own good,”

“No, merely knowing my place.” Takahiro says politely.

He knows his statement might shock the others but to him it is the truth and only the truth, as his mother said before _‘know your place and bring some good to the family, or try not to shame us.’_ ; and it stays with him forever. Cold sweat begins to run down his back when his head flashes a picture of dark hallways and yelling of voices. His warm hands turn ice cold, his eyes darts to the tatami mats, his mouth turns dry and heart beat picks up almost too fast and too sudden for him to tell it to calm down – nothing was going to hurt him, he need that to get into his system but all his system is playing is the voices and the memory of pain on his calves.

 

“Takahiro, will you show Koushi around the garden,” A hand on his hand with a strong grip brings him back to focus.

The yelling was no more, dark hallways vanishes and he’s breathing again. His mother in law looks at him with a little suspicion. He swallows before nodding and slowly gets up, he leads Koushi to the garden. Taking smaller steps to cater to the pace of a pregnant person.

“Are you alright Matsukawa-san?”

The walk side by side and speak in hush tone, it is the first time for both at the garden of the Matsukawa household.

“I am alright.”

“You don’t look like it.”

“Well, if I keep telling you that I’m fine, you’ll start believing me.”

“How are you so sure? I clearly can see that you are not.”

“Oh, because everyone believes it after some time. Even if I’m pale as a ghost, if I tell them I’m alright. They just go own with their lives.”


	2. II

“So, another most eligible bachelor is off the market, how is newlywed life going for you?” Tooru beams charmingly.

“Tch,” Issei rolls his eyes. “How long does this newlywed thing last? It’s been a month; can we move pass it?”

Tooru chuckles, “Sadly for you, it goes on for a year or so usually. So, really what’s the deal between you two?” He flips through the menu.

Issei’s eyes wonder around the high-end restaurant he often goes with Tooru just to avoid unnecessary attention that the latter tend to attract unintentionally. “Nothing since we barely see each other.”

Tooru’s eyes doesn’t leave the menu, “Why aren’t you seeing him a lot? You live in the same house, heck sleep in the same bed.”

“Because I never go home,”

“Issei.”

He shuffles in his seat and shrugs off his suit coat, “Shut it. I don’t want to deal with things in that house, after what she did – to me her freaking son. She deserves some suffering.”

“That’s not nice Issei, she’s still your mom and plus your bride certainly doesn’t deserve surviving in hell that you’re supposed to call home alone.” Tooru gives him an unimpressed look.

Issei can’t believe he’s getting this shit from Tooru, “It doesn’t matter, it won’t be long until we’ll get divorced, he’s not happy with me and I’m tired of playing the filial son act any longer. It’s already stressful as it is.”

His friend huffs, “I’m serious, talk it out with her or whatever. Things will go awry if you two keep on being like this. And what’s this bullshit about divorce?”

To Issei’s saviour a waitress comes to their table asking if they were ready to order and Tooru confirms they were before stating what he would like before Issei speaks. Once the waitress left with their orders, Issei takes the chance to change the topic from his problems at home and diverts it back to Tooru.

“Why are you in Sendai anyway.”

“Mom complained about how I’m never home and always so busy for family.” He pauses when their drinks come and thanked the waitress and smiles at her making her walk away with a slight blush. “Guilty as charged, so I’m here for two weeks. Coach said we could take a break for two weeks so I’m here.”

“I would ask if you want to hang out but I’m really busy.” Issei massages his temple.

“Those old geezers giving you trouble?”

“Nothing new.”

Their lunch date continues with mild talks of Tooru’s time in Toronto a month ago and the male doesn’t mind doing most of the talking knowing his friend prefers to be the one who is listening rather than doing much talking. Ever since they graduated from high school and entered college Tooru doesn’t remember when Issei isn’t tense as he is right now, but he has clear memories of 18-year-old Issei being a totally chill guy who pulls jokes at everyone, he knows that Issei is miserable with his own life well mostly of his life at home. After being friends with the male for years, Tooru is one of the people that knows what his worried and regrets are. He knows what keeps him up at night and chains him down and forces him to comply to the demands of his family. And Tooru knows he’s a shitty guy himself and probably doesn’t deserve to say it but the thing that chains Issei down is shittier than the crap Tooru has done to his rivals.

At least Tooru doesn’t jab at what is most important to people he just hurts their ego and pride. The same as people has done to him.

After they finish lunch, Issei excuses himself first to ensure he makes it back to the office in time for the board meeting he is about to have due to some complications regarding their newest product launch. Issei rides his car whilst checking the documents as his driver drives. “Suzuki-san, please inform President Harada that my diner plans with him will have to be postponed to another night.” Issei tells his secretary who’s in the passenger seat of the car.

“Right away, Sir.”

 

The board meeting drags out until the evening with multiple problems that needs to be solve before the planned launching dates it is only natural that Issei needs and wants confirmation that changes can be made and he needs fresh ideas despite being in a room filled with aged men and he is the youngest in the room yet he demands answers from them, he prompts an idea and sees if anyone at all could contribute  more to it and thankfully there were. “I want all research and information’s on my desk latest by tomorrow noon. Design team please have several designs. I think we’re finished here. Excuse me.” Issei stands up first and leaves the meeting room.

“Suzuki-san, the early drafts on this product is in office, right?”

“Yes sir, I can look for them.”

Issei waves her off, “No, I can look for it myself. You can get off work.”

The woman looks at him as if he is a ghost, “But Sir it’s only right for me to stay and work alongside you.”

“Go home, your kids and husband are waiting.” Issei looks at her. “I can manage looking for a few documents. It’s nothing.”

“If you insist Sir.” She obliges. “Excuse me for saying this and maybe it is out of place for me to say it, but I think you too should head home and rest. You haven’t gone home in a while.”

Issei snorts in disbelieve, “Everyone is telling me to go home.” He rubs his eyes and walks ahead leaving his secretary in wonder.

 

Files upon files are stack on his desk, some of the workers were quick enough to come up a solution on parts of where their department oversees. Issei could read through them quickly but he hates to admit that he has his physical limit after days of grinding and just naps on his office couch and not returning home. He guesses going home today wouldn’t hurt. It’s already near midnight surely no one is awake. So, he grabs his car keys since he needs to drive himself home. He reaches home in standard time of half an hour without traffic. The lights are off and he doesn’t have any plans of turning it on and instead he strips his clothes off and gets under the covers without much thought, all he needs is sleep.

 

Takahiro wakes up accidentally when he bumps into something hard and warm, he doubts his eyes when he sees Issei sleeping next to him. The warmth and sturdiness of Issei’s shoulder tells him otherwise, it’s uncomfortable – how his cheek is press against the male’s bare shoulder. He scoots back just a little back, so his cheek isn’t mush but still close enough that their skin is touching. It’s early morning and any other given day he wouldn’t loath the fact that he must get out and repeat the routine of a son in law since there’s nothing better to do and the bed is far too big and cold for him but today he loath the thought of getting out of it, so he closes his eyes again.

 

_Pink with a mixture of brown._

_The strands of hair were tickling and pricking his skin, but it wasn’t unpleasant._

 

Issei fixes his tie and glances at the door when it opens, Takahiro is already up and moving for the day. Silence sits in the room and the only sound that fills the air is the covers being made and Issei putting his watch on. “Your mother wants you at breakfast today.” Takahiro says softly but he knows the other male can hear him clearly.

“What’s the occasion? Is it someone’s birthday?” Issei sighs. “Bothersome.”

“Who knows, can you please just be at the table?”

“Don’t tell me what to do.”

Issei heads to the kitchen to look for his mother and to tell her he can’t stay for breakfast. The woman looks at her son with a distress look and softly begs, “Please Issei, just for today. We barely see you anymore.” She reaches for his hand. “And Takahiro has never sat the table with you.”

“I don’t think he minds that kind of thing. Mother, I really need to go to the office.” Issei declines the idea again.

“Please Issei.”

“Alright.”

He should have known it from the moment where he woke and sees Issei next to him in bed that today is not going to be a normal day. This miracle of Issei being home continues when the male stays for breakfast, but it doesn’t take much to realise that it was just him playing the obedient son role. Takahiro didn’t care to probe what the tension in the family about.

He hopes for maybe a sudden cancellation of class and preferably art history but that didn’t happen obviously, but it isn’t so bad to be sitting in a boring class for an hour. He gets through his classes just fine and quite enjoys one of the classes where he gets to touch his paints and canvas again, he hasn’t painted in so long. Ever since he was hitched, there was no time where he could just sit in a room alone and get lost in painting. And it isn’t ideal that he had to handle dinners with hands that are stain with paints.

But today he paints the march flower in bright yellow.

The day brings another surprise to him when Hajime is standing outside of his campus gates.

“What are you doing here? Don’t’ you have work or classes today?” Takahiro almost doubts his eyes for the second time – almost.

“I came to Sendai for work. Till Sunday, thought I’d see you.” The male shows his new tag with bold letters stating he is a member of press.

 

The two sits in a ramen shop they used to always go after school when it gets too late and they were both just starving. At that time Hajime would be stinky from the sweat and he usually didn’t change out of his baseball uniform while Takahiro is still in his school attire (back in freshmen year he would be in his volleyball club shirt but of course his mother made him quit it in second year) but his hands are dirty with paint. And it isn’t too different now, Hajime has a scent of musk and cologne on him – no longer pure sweat and Takahiro’s hands are stained. They place their usual other – both have tasted everything the store sells before and now just opts to stick with their favourites.

“So, I did a research on Matsukawa Issei. The usual dig for dirt.” Hajime rests his chin on his knuckles while looking at Takahiro seriously.

“You’re kidding,” He waves off his friend’s statement.

Hajime shakes his head and looks into his bag before pulling out a file, “Dead serious. He’s freaking clean – no scandals whatsoever. What is up with that?”

Takahiro should’ve known, “You’re being nosy. Trust me if he had dirt, his family has the capabilities of burying it.”

“True,”

“Aren’t you taking this journalist thing too far? Even looking up Issei.” He stares at the file.

 “Shut it, it’s for you. I just want to make sure the man isn’t some messed up freak.” Hajime pouts. “So how are you two doing?”

That’s a tough question for him to answer.

“He’s barely home. We never talk. Probably have a lover somewhere hidden.” Takahiro sighs. “Not that I mind.”

Hajime frowns a little, “Isn’t that a good thing? If he has a lover, doesn’t that mean that you can too? Be free.”

He chuckles lowly, “I’m not that daring anymore.”

Hajime scoffs and cracks his knuckles, “I can see that – what happened to the fearless middle blocker of Sejioh?”

Takahiro looks sharply at Hajime, “Well, then what happened to the star batter of Sejioh?”

“Touché, you douche.”

“Hey, you brought up the past first!”

“Fair enough,” Hajime huffs.

 

The conversation halts for a moment when their food arrives. Takahiro can tell that there’s something bothering Hajime from the serious look on the male’s face.

“Spit it out grouch.”

Hajime looks him dead straight in the eyes, “Is it okay for you to be here?”

“It’s okay, I’ve been good.” It comes out as a whisper.

“H-Hey, your mother in law isn’t being too harsh on you right?” Hajime stutters.

“Not at all. She’s very patient with me. At least she’s pleased with me.” Takahiro forces a smile. “At least she’s pleased with me.”

Hajime doesn’t probe into the matter of mother in laws and marriage after that, it switches too more light conversations of school and work in between mouthful of ramen. Hajime ranting here and there while Takahiro lends an ear to his dear friend.

“Are you sure you’re fine with him having a lover?” Hajime whispers, a little worried about the question he asks.

Takahiro places his chopstick down and leans back into the chair, taking his time to think of a truthful answer because the last thing he wants to do it lie to Hajime.

 

An hour later the two of them leaves the restaurant with filled bellies and a full life update on both parts done. It’s getting dark and they decide that it’s best for them to be heading home especially for Takahiro. They walk down the street and Takahiro sees a familiar face that lights up as if the smile that is already there isn’t already blinding.

“Takahiro!” Koushi calls him.

“Koushi-san.” He greets the elder.

“Fancy seeing you out and about,” Koushi grins and leans into his partner beside him.

Takahiro shares a smile and nods, “My pal here decided to pop out of nowhere, so I couldn’t just leave him alone. Aren’t you supposed to be at home Koushi-san?”

Daichi seems to agree with Takahiro, “I keep telling him that, but he won’t listen to me. Please remind him he’s 5 months pregnant.”

“I know, I know but I just need to have those meat buns.” Koushi pouts. “Well, I don’t want to hold you and your friend back and we must get home before someone nags even more. We’ll see you around Takahiro!”

“I’ll see you guys around then, get home safely.” Takahiro bids the pair fair well.

They continue walking, “Who was that?” Hajime asks as they cross the street.

“Ah, just a friend. Met him when his mother in law came to the house with him.” He explains.

“I see,” Hajime mutters.

“I envy him.” Takahiro says under his breath.

 

It’s been a little over a month since he has met Sawamura Koushi, who is older than him but just by 3 years and he says that he’s the same age as Issei. They have come to be friends, he finds out that Koushi is working as general doctor at the local hospital after his first year of residency and is going to be continuing his masters studies as a paediatric doctor a few months after giving birth to their baby – Koushi mentioned before that he is okay with studying in his current condition but it would make Daichi worry more so he decides to wait. At first Takahiro envies Koushi due to the man’s beauty and bright personality but now he has another thing he envies about him.

Koushi and Daichi got married at a young age of 20 when they were both unsure of the future but at least Daichi knew what he was going to have to do but the nothing was for certain at the time and Koushi has his plates full of medical studies. They got married nonetheless on their own terms. Something Takahiro couldn’t have and after seeing how Daichi is with Koushi it makes Takahiro feels sadder at his fate.

Koushi have something Takahiro doesn’t.

_A loving spouse, where was his?_

 

Issei barely looks up from the proposal in his hand when the bedroom door opens, he is surprise that the younger male have just return since it is getting too close to dinner. Takahiro ignores him and goes straight to the showers, Issei thinks of how much soap he needs to use to get the paint off and wonder is all he gets since he won’t answer for the answer. Takahiro leaves the room in a rush after the shower.

In 15 minutes or so Takahiro pops back into the room, “Do you want dinner, or have you eaten? Do you want tea? Anything at all?”

If Issei is looking closely and if Issei have known Takahiro well enough, he would notice how jumpy and anxious Takahiro is. But of course not. He couldn’t see it.

“All I want is for you to shut it and disappear.” Issei mutters.

“Okay, nothing for the asshole.”

Issei lets it go and instead he gets up, walks pass his husband and leaves the man alone without any word. A part of him hates himself for being harsh too him and leaving him alone every day. He knows it’s not how he should be treating Takahiro since they are pretty much in the same boat but also in that sense, he needs to act like this. He needs to create the feeling of hate between them – Takahiro needs to hate him. Issei will become an unfitting husband hence this marriage isn’t going to last long. The papers are in process and will be done in matters of weeks. He just to ensure Takahiro hates him to the point he will sign it.

But Issei need only tell the truth for Takahiro and the Hanamaki’s to agree to a divorce.

Issei joins the dinner table but Takahiro doesn’t. His mother says that Takahiro said he have already eaten due to suddenly meeting a close friend who invited him to dinner. She doesn’t seem mad at the male. She doesn’t seem to care at all.

 

That night, Issei’s private phone rings – a message comes in.

**From: Nakamura Saho**

_You’re coming to Tokyo this week, right? As usual._

Issei types a reply right away.

**To: Nakamura Saho**

_Yes, I’ll be there on Saturday this week, if that’s alright with you._

It doesn’t take long for another reply to reach him.

**From: Nakamura Saho**

_Good, the long you’re here the better._

 The next message Issei types is to his secretary.

_“I’m sorry to message you this late but please book me a room at the usual hotel in Tokyo for Saturday and Sunday tomorrow. Thank you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy~ Sorry for the long wait on the second chapter, I needed some time to get the progress and pacing clear so I wouldn't get the next chapters jumbled up. And I probably didn't get Suga's residency correctly, sorry for that... and if any one is confused, Makki and Iwa are the same age - 21 while Daichi, Suga and Matsun are 24. Thank you for the support on the first chapter! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Please comment on how you think this chapter was ^^


	3. III

Iwaizumi Hajime isn’t the type of guy that goes out for drinks on weekdays or weekends. He prefers to drink at home alone and at times with some friends from his class when they come over. He often drinks in small quantity that makes him tipsy and not full out drunk – after an experience of drinking straight vodka he decides that he doesn’t want another hangover in his life. Ever. But after 6 hours at an event for work where it was all about finances, he needs a drink badly. The day started early for him with a lengthy speech, talks of finance and stocks. Even predictions of the economy, by the fourth hour he is ready to puke which causes his supervisor to laugh at him. He’s a financial journalist, well an intern for now but he’s getting there especially with this internship. He’s just trying to not mess up this internship and hopefully get the job.

He drinks his beer silently at the bar, not engaging any conversations whatsoever. The place is great, it changed a few things since he last visited it but the whole atmosphere is still there with the jazz music playing softly and the chattering and laughter of the other customers.

“So, you come here often?” A person slides into the seat next to him.

Hajime spares a glance to the person – a handsome male. “No, I’m not just saying it. I really don’t come here often.”

A chuckle from the man, “Good to know you weren’t shutting down me trying to flirt with you.”

“Oh, you were?” Hajime asks – a little surprise. Because who would want to flirt with Iwaizumi Hajime, he isn’t that good looking and frankly the man can certainly do better, with that face he could get anyone he could ever want, and Hajime doesn’t see why the man would flirt with him since he’s such a potato in comparison. 

The man seems to panic a little, “If you’re uncomfortable, I can go.”

Hajime shakes his head, “Just a little shocked. No one flirts with me. Ever.”

“Well, that’s probably because of the frown on your face – I’ve been watching you since you came in and not once have I seen – “The man stops talking but it is too late since he already spills too much, and Hajime turns to look at the man and find him blushing.

“You were watching me?”

“I’m sorry.”

“That’s a little creepy man,” Hajime mutters.

“No, it’s not like that!” The man shouts causing some head to turn. “Ah, shit.” The man curses under his breath before bowing his head in apology.

“Not like what?”

“I wasn’t look at you like a creep or anything.” The man scratches his cheek, “It’s more of like when you see someone attractive walk into the room and your eyes just automatically follow. Like they always do when I walk into the room.”

Hajime laughs, “So you know you’re good looking.” He decides to ignore the earlier comments from the male.

“Oh, I do. But the question is, do you acknowledge my beauty, so I can buy you drink or something if that’s okay with you.” The man rests his chin on his palm, but eyes still train on Hajime.

Hajime hum for a while, dragging it a little. “Well, it’s true that you are a looker but I need a name to go with that pretty face of yours before I let you buy me a drink and so I can buy you a drink in return.”

“Oikawa Tooru.”

“Iwaizumi Hajime.”

“So, tell me Oikawa-san, how come you don’t come here often.” Hajime asks as he mindlessly twirl the liquid in his glass.

Tooru looks at him with his chin still prop on his palm, fingers dancing on the rim of his glass, “I live in Tokyo now. Just visiting my family. What about you?”

“Oh, we’re on the same boat. I go to school in Tokyo but I’m here for a little work and of course family.” Hajime sips his drink.

“School.” Tooru looks surprise at the word school. “Shit, you’re younger than me!” He then laughs.

“Well, nice to meet you, old man.”

“Hey, I’m not an old man! I’m only 24. And aging.” Tooru sighs.

“I’m 21 and aging too.”

Tooru lets out a sound that resembles a dying whale and he knows if he has any intention of impressing the man beside him by the end of the night, there is no more chance what so ever. The talk continues and after two shots of rum and beer for the man and two glasses of mojito for Tooru and numbers of whale noises, Tooru isn’t hoping for much.

“Hey, can I get your number?” Hajime asks the man just when he is about to leave.

Tooru thank the gods for this unlikely outcome.

 

 

“How long?” Takahiro asks Issei when the man mentions about going to Tokyo for something.

“A short while, I’ll be back on Sunday night. Why does it matter anyway to you anyway?” Issei zips his bag.

Takahiro wonders if he should ask about the reason of his sudden trip but the cold expression on Issei’s face prevents him from asking. It could be for work or it could be the only other reason Takahiro can think off. He tries to brush it off and act as nonchalant as Issei is. Issei already mention about this sudden trip to Tokyo at breakfast and no one seem to question it at all. Although Takahiro can see that his mother in law has a sour face on when Tokyo is mention and he knows Issei sees the look.

“Just curious.” He shrugs.

Issei sighs, “Stay out of trouble. Just do whatever that is you do.”

“Okay,” Takahiro nods. “Stay safe.”

Issei silently nods and takes his bag along as he walks to the door, ready to leave. Takahiro tails the man and just before the door opens he hears Issei saying, “Take care of my mother when I’m not home.”

“I will,” Takahiro whispers back.

“Thank you. And I’m sorry…”

Takahiro doesn’t reply and watches as Issei leaves and only after hearing the front door close he comes out of the bedroom and to the drive way of the house, fast enough to see Issei drive out. He thinks it’s stupid and pointless for himself to be out here. What was he even doing? Seeing Issei off? Ridiculous.

“Takahiro, come inside.” He hears his father in law calling from the door. He turns to the man and without a word further he comes into the house. “I’m sorry Issei hasn’t been nice to you. I know my son, he’s not like that.”

“It’s okay, I get it. We don’t know each other to begin with and suddenly being married…” Takahiro mutters.

“Just give him time, he’ll warm up soon enough.”

 

At lunch the house phone rings, Takahiro lets his father in law pick up the phone as he has his hand full of kitchen duties with his mother in law. The call lasts a few minutes and he hears a few hearty laughter from the aged man. It doesn’t take long for him to come over in the kitchen and telling that it was Takahiro’s mother who is just checking in and wonders if his son could come by the house for dinner since the elders were coming. He sucks in a sharp breath, how he hates when this happens and especially when Issei isn’t home.

“I said no, and of course apologised. I wouldn’t want to send him home alone when they are expecting Issei along. What would they say to this lovely boy.” The man sighs. “Why did he have to go right now.”

“I told him not too. He wouldn’t listen to me anymore!” There is anger is his mother in law’s voice.

Takahiro remains silent, he doesn’t know what exactly they are talking about but it’s clear. Issei going to Tokyo is something his mother doesn’t like and frankly Issei doesn’t care if she cares or not.

“Well, I think you two were in the wrong.”

“I’m sorry but what’s wrong with Issei going to Tokyo?” Takahiro looks at the old couple.

“It’s nothing of your concern.” The woman waves the topic away without any more explanation

 

“Your grandfather would have loved to see you today.” Takahiro stiffens at the tone of his mother’s voice.

“I’m sorry.” He whispers into the phone.

“Why aren’t they letting you come? Our houses aren’t that far. It wouldn’t be a problem for you and Issei to come at all.” She asks.

“That’s because Issei isn’t home.”

“Why isn’t he home?” She’s getting angrier.

Takahiro cowers, “He left for Tokyo.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, he didn’t say.”

A harsh sigh comes through the line. “Takahiro. Are you taking care of him? Are you doing your duties? Why don’t you know?”

His mother raises her voice, she doesn’t need to. He’s already scared of her and the fear of constantly not being good enough in her eyes.

“I’m trying my best, mother.” He starts to choke up.

“Do better!”

“I will, I promise I will.”

Once the phone call ends Takahiro slumps down on the floor of his bedroom, phone on the floor beside him as he brings his legs into his chest, he curls himself into a ball and starts rocking. Humming to a children song that he no longer remembers the words to. He stays in the room the whole day, he didn’t come out during dinner even after his mother in law calls him. She mentions how pale he looks, and he only manages a weak smile before saying he’s okay and he just needs to lay down. The woman doesn’t come in anymore and Takahiro lays in bed alone clutching at the covers tightly.

It’s too cold and too empty.

 

Issei collapses on the hotel bed after a whole day of driving to Tokyo and going around town. There’s another day of that tomorrow. As tired as he is – he’s happy. He lays on his side with an arm under his head, he scrolls through the pictures he taken today, a smile that is already there on his face widen. Just seeing her and hearing her voice makes him happy. But the smile drops just a little when he thinks of a certain brownish pink haired male. The guilt hits him in the guts, he closes his phone and rolls back onto his back. He stares up to the wall, thinking back to face that the male was making when he left the house. It isn’t necessarily a sad expression, but it resembles a look of a child being left to fend for himself.

And maybe Takahiro deserves every right to make that face while Issei should be drowning in guilt. He left Takahiro alone after all. Then he remembers a vague innocent face he saw during one of the early mornings. He dials a number that he has never dial before, he covers his eyes and waits. It rings three times before ending. Of course, he wouldn’t pick up. Why would Takahiro pick up Issei’s calls when all Issei has been is a jerk to him? A lying jerk to be exact.

He gets through to the voice mail, he figures that if he wouldn’t pick up, Issei could just leave a message. “Hey, I hope you’re doing okay. I don’t really know why I called anyway.” Issei sighs and cancels the message.

“What the fuck are you doing Issei.” Issei mutters.

 

“Takahiro?” A soft voice makes him come out of his trance.

“Yes?” He’s about to sit up.

“No, no – lay down. You still look pale.” A warm hand comes to his forehead.

“I’m not sick, I’m sorry to make you worry.” Takahiro mutters.

“Are you sure you’re alright? We could go to the doctors,” The woman asks a little concern.

“Yea, I’m alright. I’ll be out in a bit.” Takahiro sits up.

“Alright then.” She sighs.

The morning goes by slowly by for Takahiro, he barely eats his breakfast and after helping as he has always done, he sits at the engawa just in front of the smaller tatami room where his father in law is reading the newspaper. Takahiro looks into the pond and just observes the koi fishes swimming. He hums to the song again while closing his eyes. Behind him a pair of eyes watches him closely. Takahiro stays like for a while before he decides to take his paints out to the engawa.

He chooses oil for today, there’s a small blank canvas he still hasn’t used, so he takes it along. He attracts his in laws eyes when he lays the things out, but he doesn’t mind it that much and focuses on his paints.  It calms him down for that long period of hours, in high school he would lock himself in him room and paint all day, he used oil, acrylic, water colours, crayon and he often mix them to make something he loves.  He captures the red flowers and green trees in the garden. His brush strokes are messy and spontaneous.

At that moment, Takahiro could breathe again.

 

But it always comes back, the anxiety.

That afternoon after finishing the painting and leaving it to dry at the same place he painted it, Takahiro excused himself to his room to clean up and rest for a little. After a little while of laying down, it comes back without any reason but maybe Takahiro have always store that sense of fear in him.

He gradually finds it harder and harder for him to breathe, his hands clamp down to the covers of his bed as he sits up. Heart beat rising and breath shortening as the second goes by, shit, he thinks. He needs to calm down but the more he thinks about it the louder the faint yelling comes to mind. The clearer the words play in his head.

_“You better not shame the family name.”_

_“Why can’t you be like your older siblings? Why do you find it important to run off to some stupid sports? You’re not that good anyway! Just quit.”_

_“I’m disappointed in you.”_

His shoulders shake in a soft sob, his hands find their way to his hair and clenches to the strands so tight he could pull it out.

“Stop,” He cries.

“Please stop, I’ll be better, I’ll be a good boy. Just stop screaming.”

Trembling and in tears he searches for his phone and dials the only person he knows that can help.

“Hey what’s up?” Hajime answers cheerfully.

“Help, they won’t stop.” He crocks out.”

Hajime is silent, “Breathe, slowly just like how we always do.”

“O-Okay,” He listens and takes his breath in a pace manner that he has always done with Hajime.

Hajime’s voice changes and he hears frantic shuffling of clothes, “Where are you?”

“Home with my in-laws.”

“What about Issei?”

“Tokyo.”

He hears Hajime sigh, “You’ll be okay. I’m here for you.” Takahiro feels glad that he has such a great friend who’s willing to help always.

“Do you think you can come meet me at the curb? You remember that curb where we always meet at on the way to school?” Hajime says.

“Of course, I’ll wait for you there.” Takahiro slowly gets out of bed.

“Don’t rush,”

 

Hajime tells his mother he’ll be out for a little while and will be back an hour before dinner. Before he leaves his house, he grabs his bike and quickly mounts it, he cycles with all his might to the curb he mentioned to Takahiro. It is the same one they pass a million times on the way to school, it’s closer to Takahiro’s house than his but he doesn’t know where Matsukawa’s house is and how long would it take Takahiro to reach the curb. As expected, Hajime arrives first, and Takahiro only arrives a few minutes after Hajime.

“Hey,” Hajime walks towards Takahiro.

“Hey,” It comes out weak.

“Come here.” Hajime open up his arms for his friend. Takahiro slowly falls into his embrace, clearly exhausted and his body slacks against Hajime’s. The taller of the two hides his face in the crook on the other’s neck. They stand there like that as Hajime rubs Takahiro’s back soothingly while muttering that he’s okay.

“Come on, let’s go somewhere.” He pulls away and slaps a hand on Takahiro’s face firmly but not strong enough to hurt.

Hajime and Takahiro walk off down the street, Hajime rambles on and on about random stories about school and work. He manages to make Takahiro relax a little bit and he gets a soft laugh out of the man too. They know the town like the back of the hand having grown up in the same town. So, it didn’t take Takahiro long to realise they are going to the river bank. Once there, Hajime puts his bike down while Takahiro lays down on the grass. Hajime sits down beside him.

“Get some rest, you look awful.”

“No, I want to hear you talk. Tell me more,” He looks at Hajime with tired eyes.

“Fine, I’ll tell you about yesterday then.” Hajime chuckles.

“What about yesterday?”

“I went to the bar after work.” He mutters.

Takahiro moves his head from the ground and onto Hajime’s lap, his face facing towards Hajime’s torso. He hums and tells him to go own with his story by nudging with his nose against Hajime.

“I met someone interesting there, got his number too.” Hajime has a small smile on his face.

Takahiro looks at his friend with a straight face, “The club isn’t the best place to find a lover, so the bar is where I go,” He sings before yelping in pain after getting a punch onto his arm courtesy of yours truly.

“Fine, tell me about him. Is he pretty?” He pouts. “Because we all know Bara Iwaizumi only goes for pretty twinks.”

“I don’t go for pretty twinks!” Hajime groans. “But yes, he’s too pretty for his own good and he god damn knows it too.”

“I thought you didn’t like those type, pretty and very aware of it. What made you stay and listen to him?” Takahiro shuts his eyes.

“He doesn’t deny his looks, for once it didn’t sound obnoxious. Clumsy with his words, he slips his words a lot. It’s kind of cute.” Hajime recalls the brunette. “Actually, fun to talk to him but he does ask for a punch once or twice.”

“That’s nice.” Takahiro smiles.

“Did Issei ever call you after leaving for Tokyo?”

“Yea, last night. I got a missed call.”

“You didn’t pick up?”

“Too tired.”

 

Issei pulls up his sleeves up his to his elbow, he takes in the view of a park in Tokyo, it isn’t as full as he thought it would be since it’s a weekend. There are just small litters of family here and there but a bigger volume of mothers and their child near the playground. Issei huffs but his eyes are train on a certain dark hair female, he follows her every step. They need to leave soon so he could begin his journey back to Sendai. But Issei didn’t want this day to end in tears in which he knows if he told her he would have to go now, she’d be in tears.

Issei could wait one more hour even if he would arrive late home. Anything for her.

  “I’ll come back soon, okay? We’ll have more fun then. How does the amusement park sound like?” Issei’s mouth stretches into a wide smile.

“Sounds great!” A loud and cheerful laughter follows the words.

“Good, now I really have to go.” Issei glances to his watch.

“Promise?” A pinkie is hold out in front of him.

“Promise. Anything for you.” He links his pinkie and then proceeds to kiss the hand.

The drive is long from Tokyo to Sendai and he does feel tired from the journey he frequents takes but to his it’s worth all the fatigue. By the time he reaches home it’s late at night, his parents could be asleep already seeing how they always go to bed early. Is Takahiro awake? Issei wonders as he walks to his shared bedroom with the fore mentioned male. Seeing how the lights are still on, it’s obvious that Takahiro is still awake. Closing the door behind him he finds his eyes laying upon Takahiro, he stares at the male and gets the same stare back.

“Hey,”

“Hey,”

Issei walks towards the closet and places his bag down with his back to Takahiro. He still could see the male from the reflection in the mirror. He notices how he now has eye bags and his skin is noticeably paler than usual. Is he sick?

“Are you okay? You look pale.”

Takahiro scoffs, “Who the hell did you meet in Tokyo that you’re suddenly nice?”

Issei sighs, “I know I’ve been an ass to you lately. I’m sorry about that.”

“You’ve been an ass from the second day of marriage,” Takahiro whispers. “But tell me, who did you meet?”

“I need to change,” Issei mutters. “Why do you want know?”

“Why can’t I? We’re married, aren’t we?” There’s a slight hurt in that. “Unless it’s another person.”

“It’s not a lover or anything in that lane.” Issei takes off his shirt.

“Then why can’t you tell me?”

“Because that person is too important to me,”

“Plus, I don’t want anyone getting hurt.”

“You’re already hurting me by the way you act and treat me like, so what’s another reveal going to do?”  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning to do a double update but I couldn't get the next chapter done, so here you have it chapter 3. Hope you guys like it! Please do leave a comment on your thought! ^o^


	4. IV

Issei freezes in place when Takahiro says those words, he loses all words. The male on the bed doesn’t show any emotion of hurt and instead looks at him with exhausted eyes. Issei bites his lips, “You know what, you’re exhausted. That’s it, you should go to bed.” He goes to Takahiro and sits by him – the closest proximity he has been with Takahiro.

“Tell me who she is,” Takahiro glares.

Issei frowns at the male, ready to say something when his phone rings. “Sleep.” He tells the man again before taking his phone and leaving the room. He doesn’t know that Takahiro lets out a shaky breath before getting out of bed and follows him, he presses his ear to the door.

“Yeah, I got home just fine. You should be asleep. It’s late.” Takahiro hears the lift in the man’s voice.

“Yea, maybe next week I’ll see how free I am okay,” He hears Issei chuckling.

Takahiro backs away from the door and leans against the wall, ready to question Issei. When the door opens, he looks at Issei. There’s a wide smile on his face as he ends the call. _You’re not good enough for him. You should learn you place._ They are lucky to be able to make him smile like that Takahiro thinks.

“Who is that person? Seeing you smile like that they must be very important because for the last month, you wouldn’t even look at me let alone talk and smile like you do with them. You can have that much happiness in your eyes even by hearing their voice,” Takahiro knows he’s losing control of his own speech.

A part of him wonder why does he care so much about being able to make Issei smile? But he knows the answer – it’s always the same reason just different faces. Because he wants to be loved by someone who he could love back and to know that he’s enough. For once in his life he wants to be enough for someone and maybe it’s just his anxiety and exhaustion clouding his thoughts so bad to the point he thinks he needs love from Issei.

Issei doesn’t reply to his words but his smile drops, and a worried face replace that happiness. He knows he’s trembling from fear and maybe anger. Issei is right, he needs to sleep. He can’t even think straight, and he certainly doesn’t need to go picking fights with Issei.

“Takahiro, you’re trembling.” Issei steps closer to him and is ready to hold him by the shoulders when Takahiro shoves the hand away and screams, “Don’t touch me!”. Issei doesn’t try after that and lets him walk away to their bed, leaving the older man slight stunned.

 

If things were bad between them before, it’s getting worse now as the days goes by – it’s been a week after that night. Takahiro doesn’t talk to him at all even when Issei tries to talk. He figures that Takahiro is still mad about it, but the male does an amazing job of not showing it. And it sucks for Issei because Takahiro’s words struck him bad, the boy that stayed quiet and put up with Issei’s shit because he is being selfish and only thought of himself, he forgotten how Takahiro is suffering as much as he is. He got married at a young age – against his own will, forced to stay with a family he doesn’t know well and having to call a jackass like Issei his husband. Issei knows he deserves the cold shoulder from Takahiro. He figures that it’s time for him to fix their relationship with each other after starting on the wrong foot.

But first he needs help.

“How do I fix this? Tooru?” Tooru isn’t the best person for him to be asking help from but he’s better than nothing.

Tooru laughs out loud, “You’re actually coming to me – the person you claim to have shit personality and doesn’t know how to maintain relationships and be nice to people?”

“Oh, shut it. And to make it clear, I don’t claim you have a shit personality, I know you have a shit personality. But right now, I’m shittier than you.”

“First of all, that’s mean Matsun. Well, if you really want to fix it, why don’t you talk to him? Most of your problems might be solved if you just talked, Issei. And I’m not just talking about your husband, who you’ve yet to introduce me too.” Tooru flips through yet another book about sci-fi.

“You’re asking me to talk to my mother?” He can hear Issei frowning.

“The talk is long overdue. I demand you to talk it out with her.”

“She won’t listen.”

“Make her, she can only hold on for so long before she backs down. They always do.”

“She doesn’t.”

“At some point she will.” Tooru shuts the book after placing a bookmark and throws it to the side.

Issei snorts, “You sound like you’re speaking from experience.”

“I am.” Tooru looks down to his right knee. “You know how hard I had to plead my parents to let me join the team.”

Issei hums, “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, they’ve put the it all behind. They just want me to be happy and to come home more often.” Tooru chuckles.

“Does my mother not want me to be happy?”

“She does, Issei. She’s still your mother under all that social status bull crap you family have to deal with.” Tooru feels deeply sad for his friend.

“I wonder if that’s true.”

“Issei.”

“What? I know.”

“You know, about this situation, you’re just like your mother. It’s not fair for you to keep to yourself and not talk about how you feel to anyone and the ones that matter. And it’s certainly not fair that you have already decided on a divorce before actually telling him the full truth.” Tooru brings his legs up on the couch. “It’s unlikely but there’s a chance he might never want a divorce.”

“It’s unlikely and if he didn’t, his parents would force him to sign.”

“What is it with you two and complying too easily to your parents?”

“Expectations.”

The call with Tooru ends in about another 15 minutes, Tooru just prays to god that his friend will be able to solve the problems in his life. Because god knows Tooru can’t take any more of the calls where Issei sounds like he’s having a really hard time. For once, he wants to hear Issei laughing his heart out at bad jokes and stupid memes again. He wants to see his friend hit spikes again just like when they were in high school. Not this ball of stress and unresolved problems.  

 

“I’m home…” Issei mutters as he slips into his house slippers.

He’s back home just in time for dinner, he stops the nights at the office for good and comes home every night. His mother is visibly very happy about this change and he knows it’s better this way. Maybe things can get better from now on between him and his mother. All they need is to talk everything out. But first, he needs to deal with Takahiro. He needs more advice. Preferably someone that knows Takahiro better and there’s only one person he could think off.

Iwaizumi Hajime.

But he needs his number first and asking Takahiro straight forward will of course be met with a no or silence as always. So, Issei figures he’ll just look for it in Takahiro’s phone. He knows Takahiro leaves his phone on the desk when he’s not on it. He isn’t sure if Takahiro has a lock or not but it’s worth a shot.

“Oh, you’re home.” The said male comes to the front door.

“Yea,” Issei awkwardly nods – they have never spoke much before hence leisure talks aren’t common ground for them.

Takahiro knows it too, “Why don’t you clean up, dinners almost ready.” He then reaches for Issei’s coat. Issei lets him take it without much resistance. He goes into their room with Takahiro tailing behind him just to keep the coat back in the closet. He’s alone by the time he’s half undressed. He sees Takahiro’s phone on the desk. Issei takes it and turns the screen on. No locks or passcodes surprisingly. He does it quickly – he quickly gets Iwaizumi’s number and places the phone back to where it belongs.

 

Two days after getting Hajime’s number he finally calls during lunch hour.

 

“Hello, who is this?” Hajime picks up.

“Hello, Iwaizumi-san. It’s Matsukawa Issei.” Issei adjusts his phone.

“Oh, hello. Matsukawa-san. Why did you call me? How did you even get my number?” Hajime sounds genuinely surprise.

“I have my ways to get your number.” Issei pauses.

“Takahiro almost had an anxiety attack the other night. Around two weeks ago.”

Hajime is silent on the other line. “So, something did happen… What happened?”

“We fought. But I don’t think the fight was the only thing that caused it.” Issei sighs.

“Was it the week you went to Tokyo?”

“Yea,” Issei confirms it.

“That figures.” Hajime snorts.

“What?”

“He wasn’t feeling well. Didn’t sleep well. Looked like shit.” Hajime’s tone changes to something venomous.

“Where the hell were you, Matsukawa-San.” Issei can hear the anger.

“Far from him.”

“I don’t like you, Matsukawa-san.” Hajime declares.

“I don’t condone your decision. But please tell me, what do I do? I want to be on good terms with him.” Issei knows he is in the wrong.

“Tried talking it out?”

“He doesn’t respond when I try to bring up that night but he’s talking after a week of the cold shoulder.”

“If he doesn’t respond then don’t push him, he’s still cooling down. Taka is somewhat emotional, and he take a long time to settle down.” Hajime sighs.

“Slowly try to talk to him, right?”

“We have a winner!” Hajime says.

“Thank you for your help, Iwaizumi-san.”

“Please treat him with care – he’s fragile.”

 

_“I’m home! Mama?” A five-year-old version of Takahiro calls out to the empty hallways of their family house._

_“Welcome home.” He hears her voice coming from her study. He trudges over to her study with a bright smile on his face – he remembers the excitement of wanting to show her his drawing. The teacher praised him so much for it and an innocent little boy would love to have his mother do the same. He carefully opens the door and peeks into the room. “Mama?”_

_“Yes dear? What is –” She stops midsentence and her soft expression turns hard. “What happened to your clothes? Why is it so dirty?”_

_He stands there in place while staring down, the drawing still in his small hand but he knows she won’t care for it anymore. She’s angry. His kindergarten uniform has spots of dirt and crayon on them, “It was from the crayon and I fell during playtime but I’m alright! I didn’t get hurt.”_

_A sharp sigh comes from his mother, “Look at how dirty you are! It’s going to take a long time to get those stains out! Didn’t I tell you not to play.” She scolds him._

_He cowers, “I’m sorry mama,” A sniffles begin._

_“What are you crying for? Stop crying!” She yells. He quickly wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and bites his lips. “I’m sorry mama.”_

_“Always crying.” She scoffs. “Get the cane, you must be punished. You never understand – never listen. Try to be like Touya for once!”_

_He nods and gets the cane from its usual place in her study._

“Why can’t you be more like your brothers?” The disappointment in her voice still haunts him to this very day. He tries his very best at the age of 5 to not burst into tears after the fifth swing of the cane to his calf.

That was the beginning of it, Takahiro remembers it clear as day. At that age he learns that he’ll never be better than his brothers and no matter how hard he tries he always falls short. He doesn’t remember when the last time his mother smiled at him was and when was the last time he heard her tell him that she loves him? No memory whatsoever.

When he reaches his tenth birthday he finds himself moving in with his grandparents to Tokyo. They were living with his uncle, the second son. It was a huge blow to him – at that age he thinks about how unwanted he is. His own family just pushes him away. Living with his grandparents and uncle turns out to be the best years of his life instead. His uncle’s wife saw his drawing and guides him, she is the reason he even thought about painting, she was more of a mother to him than his mother ever was. His grandparents support him from behind and they were his protector. When his parents found out about the paintings, his father didn’t mind but his mother did. She didn’t see how his charcoal drawings; mixed media art could benefit to the family and to himself. He won’t be the heir so learning the business for most part since he has two brothers above of him and an older sister, they would be sufficient.

 Maybe Takahiro shouldn’t have been born at all. He thinks about that a lot and when he voices it out to his grandmother once, he was crying out his eyes in her arms and ignoring the throbbing pain on his cheek left by his mother yet again. But his safe heaven only lasted until the end of middle school. His grandmother’s health was deteriorating, and his parents brought him back and enrolled him into a private high school.

And he’s back to being in Sendai and back under his mother’s watch. It’s clear that somethings have change while he was gone but there’s things that can’t be change. They’re very distant with each other, Takahiro is more obedient and tries to make her angry but that results him to be in his room all day long after school. All he was doing in his room was homework and painting.   

Now he’s in college and married.

Takahiro says goodbye to his groupmate for a project in one of his course. He puts his earphones on as he leaves the campus, he puts on a song as he walks towards home. The weather is getting colder by the days it isn’t such a surprise, it’s near autumn. The year is nearing in to the end of it and it’s his second month of being married. He’s have been thinking about the marriage, it isn’t as happy as he wishes it would be. It takes two to tango and as of right now both aren’t doing their absolute best to make it work. Although Issei is coming home more often and the said male is trying to talk to him more but the last week Takahiro hasn’t feel like he wants to talk to Issei.

Instead he takes the time to sort out his thoughts and feelings. After a talk with Koushi about marriage – the older male is becoming someone he can safely turn to when he needs advice about being marriage since asking him is the best idea. Knowing how Takahiro and Issei were arranged, Koushi gives his advice thinking of his place and Issei’s place. And for now, it’s okay to go at his own pace. So, Takahiro decides that he’ll go at his own pace – beginning with himself.

He needs to live his life his way. It doesn’t matter anymore that he can’t have the dream he’s been planning. Dwelling would cause him more misery than happiness and as Koushi said he could choose to dwell in that or he could make the best of the situation.

 

“I’ll set the table today,” Takahiro says after turning off the heat.

“Okay, plate that in the large dish and you can just leave it on the dining table. It’s just the three of us tonight – Issei has a meeting today. He won’t make it home.” His mother in law tells him.

“Alright,” Takahiro does as he is told and set the dinner table in no time, he’s familiar with the things he must do and it’s no longer a hard thing for him to do. 

Dinner goes by as usual with minor conversation between the three of them. Takahiro gets ask about his art and he answers them as genuine as he can. It continues to the tatami room, the tv is on the local news sparking another long topic. That is when Issei comes home, Takahiro hears the male and goes to the front door to greet him, Issei is clearly exhausted when he comes in.

“I’m home,”

“Welcome home,”

Issei looks down the hall, “Where’s my mother and father?”

“They are in the tatami room, watching the news.” He follows Issei from behind.

“Go on and talk with them, they enjoy your company. I’m really tired so I’ll be heading straight to bed.” Issei massages his nape.

“Good night then Issei,” Takahiro mutters.

“Good night Takahiro….”

Takahiro rejoins his in laws and tells them that Issei already retreated into their room and due to fatigue he’s going to bed.

 

Midday the next day Takahiro gets a surprising text whilst in lecture from Issei.

**From: Matsukawa Issei**

Can I talk to you tonight?

**To: Matsukawa Issei**

Sure, but I don’t know what time I’ll be coming home. I have a group project and they want to stay late at the library.

A reply doesn’t come back right away hence he goes back to focussing on his lecturer although he still waits for the subtle vibrate of his phone. It comes about two hours later when he is on his way to another class.

**From: Matsukawa Issei**

I’ll pick you up.

 

And just as he says he would, at 10 pm he is in front of the campus entry, standing outside of his parked car. He isn’t wearing his work clothes anymore so that means he went home earlier.

“Sorry to make you wait that long and to make you pick me up.” Takahiro jogs up to the car.

“Didn’t wait too long.” Issei shrugs it off and opens the car door.

Takahiro goes to the passenger side and gets in, “You’re being really nice. Why the change?” He asks once they start moving.

“Just cause.”

Clearly Issei isn’t telling the truth. But Takahiro ignores that fact, “What did you want to talk about?” Takahiro stares out the window.

“About that night in general, the fight.”

Takahiro sighs, “What about it?”

“If you’re uncomfortable then we don’t have to talk about it yet but it’s something I think we shouldn’t just sweep under the rug.” Issei signals to the right.

“There’s no point in avoiding the topic.” Takahiro mutters.

Issei clears his throat, “You’re the last person that deserve the bullshit I’ve been giving you. So, I’m trying to make it up.”

“As sudden as it is,”

“Well, good to know that you know. Just to make it clear – I meant everything I said to you.” Takahiro looks down to his hands, “You really hurt me.”

“I’m sorry for hurting your feelings.” Issei says.

“And I want to apologise too – if I crossed any boundaries. About that person, I’ll respect your decision.” He looks at Issei. “But one day I’ll need some clarification on the situation too.”

“One day, I’ll tell you.” Issei glances at the male beside him.

“In return, tell me about what to do when you get anxiety attacks in the future.” Issei softly whispers.

“I won’t ask you about why you are so tense with your mother. I just ask for ways to help you.”

Takahiro bites his lips so hard at the statement.

“Okay.”

Issei glances at Takahiro once more and chuckles, “Cry baby.”

 

Issei locks the car after they got off in the drive way of the home. Takahiro is in front waiting for him, traces of his previous crying is still clear. He looks at Issei with a serious look.

“Hey, Issei.”

“What?”

“You’re the first person after Hajime, that said that they want to help me.”


	5. V

Takahiro falls back into the bed after a quick shower, exhaustion comes over him after all the work he done earlier in the day and the little water works Issei caused in the car. Issei is also in the bed as exhausted as he is but Takahiro is luckier since he doesn’t have any classes tomorrow and instead he only must meet up with his group mates at a café in town while Issei says he has 3 meetings scheduled.

“You’re coming home late again tomorrow?” Takahiro gets under the covers properly.

“Yea, and there’s a freaking gala dinner coming up in the next month.” Issei mutters.

“Well, deal with it.”

“Oh, you’re coming with me to the gala dinner.”

“No way in hell.”

 

The short talk had an effect. Takahiro isn’t as cold as he was to Issei and Issei tries to not be a jerk to Takahiro. They exchange more words in the morning and both would like it to be this way more often. But of course, they don’t have much chances to do so with Issei being so busy with work and even today, it’s already near midnight and Issei isn’t home yet. Takahiro just stop doing his assignments and is half expecting Issei to already be home. “He’s late.” Takahiro breathes out as he checks his phone for the time. He moves from the desk and onto the bed. Maybe he could just shut his eyes for a short while.

Issei comes home early in the morning, he goes straight to his bedroom without much thought except how comfortable his bed would be. He frowns when he sees the light still on, certainly Takahiro shouldn’t be waiting for him. “Takahiro?” He calls out as he closes the door behind him and when he doesn’t get a reply – that’s when he sees the sleeping figure on the bed. The boy fell asleep on the covers with his cheek press on his right forearm. His phone still in hand. By the looks of it he was studying and fell asleep. Issei places his bag down by the desk in the room and closes the open book left on the desk. He shuts the desk light and begins to take off his watch.

Untying his tie, Issei stares at the sleeping boy. He throws his tie onto the edge of the bed, he walks to male and lifts him up bridal style, with his feet he kicks the cover on Takahiro’s side over before placing him back on the bed and proceeds to tuck the boy in. He watches as the younger stirs a little bit but not enough to be awake.

“Seriously?” Issei mutters in disbelief as he walks to the bathroom, a small smile on his face.

 

Hajime paces back and forth in his living room, it’s his day off from work and classes. It’s still early in the morning but his adrenaline is already running. His brain racking back and forth – thinking off words to put together. He groans and slaps himself before typing up a quick message.

 

Tooru decides that he should probably get out of bed and not be lazy when he hears a spamming of messages entering his phone. It could honestly just be from his teammates who are morning people who are also jerks that knows most of the other guys aren’t. And what better way to ruin mornings with spamming the group chat with nothing but just single letters.

He knows he deserves this much for being a prick at times, but he needs his beauty sleep god dammit! He’ll kill Kuroo one of these days he swears. Tooru takes his phone and looks at it and groans when he sees 340 messages is from the freaking group chat while there’s 3 from Iwaizumi Hajime.

He opens the latter obviously.

**Iwaizumi Hajime**

_Hey, I was thinking of meeting up for lunch_ _?  8:50 _ _ a.m. _

_If you want to_ _ 8:55 a.m. _

_It’s okay if you’re busy or uninterested._ _ 9:00 a.m.  _

Tooru squeals and bury his face in his pillow while his feet kick around as if he was a teenage girl. Sometimes Tooru forgets that he is a six-foot giant and all his friends are giants too. It’s hilarious that their entertainment when going out is to see who gets hit by something on the head the most. Tooru really needs new friends.

**Iwaizumi Hajime**

Hey, sorry for not replying earlier. I just woke up. Late night. 9:45 a.m.

Rough days. 9:45 a.m.

Tooru’s eyes brightens when he sees Hajime typing.

_They should really go easy on an old man with an aging body like you._ _ 9:47 a.m. _

That’s mean. But since you’re so kindly ask me earlier at a such ungodly hour to be awake at, I will say that I would love to meet you for lunch. 9:50 a.m.

_You know, 8:50 isn’t too ungodly. Bet you’re just lazy_ _ 9:52 a.m.  _

A man like me needs his beauty sleep! 9:53 a.m. 

_That’s not fair. You’ll get even more beautiful and that’s not fair to the world._ _ 9:54 a.m.  _

I need my morning coffee to deal with your smooth ass. Bye. 9:57 a.m. 

_Hahahaha, I’ll see you later today then. Let’s meet up at the station._ _ 9:59 a.m. _

Tooru is blushing hard in his bathroom with a toothbrush in his mouth, it’s been a long time since he dated or had a fling with anyone and he’s the one usually saying cheesy things and to have something like that said to him made him flustered. Hajime on the other hand is cursing himself and yet feeling good that he manages to make the older male flustered.

 

At noon the two of them meet at the midst of the crowd at Tokyo station. A soft smile on both of their faces and dare both say that they missed seeing the other. There is something about the other that makes them keep coming back for more – even if it’s just to talk or just a quiet walk.

“Where are you taking me?” Tooru falls into a pace while walking beside Hajime.

“I was thinking of Sumida Aquarium.” Hajime glances at Tooru. He finds the male to look as dashing as ever, the long coat certainly suits him.

“Sumida Aquarium?” Tooru blinks at Hajime, looking so lost. “I thought we were going out for food?”

“We are,” Hajime chuckles, “But I wanted to go to the aquarium too. Going with you seem like it would be better than going alone.”

“Then let’s go. But I think we should eat first.” Tooru nods.

“Is a bento restaurant okay?” Hajime asks with uncertainty.

“More than fine, I’m not picky with food.” Tooru shrugs.

 

Hajime takes him to the restaurant he mentioned, they sit facing each other at a small table by the window. “We look like we’re a couple a date.” Tooru says after they finish ordering. Hajime chuckles and nods, “Aren’t we?”.

“Aren’t we what?” Tooru asks glances at Hajime.

“On a date.”

“Yea, a date.”

 

“We can ride the train or bus to the sky tree.” Tooru recalls.

“Yea, want to go on the bus?” Hajime looks around for the ticketing booth.

“Sure, it’s been some time since I’ve ridden a public bus.” Tooru agrees.

“Come on, the ticketing booth is over there.” Hajime reaches for Tooru’s hand and he pulls the male along.

The pair reach the ticketing booth and buys two tickets to for the bus to Sky Tree. They follow the way that is told by the clerk as to where the busses are at. Even after buying the tickets and pulling away for a moment to take their wallets out, their hands clasps together again. Hajime looks nonchalant at the touch but Tooru is visibly freaking out.

“You can let go if you want to.” Hajime mutters as they stand outside in the cold.

“I don’t want to, it’s just that it’s been some time since I’ve been on a date.” Tooru shyly admits.

“Too busy modelling?” Hajime cocks his head to the side.

A small advertisement for a sport wear company with Tooru on it. “Side job.” He mutters. Hajime figures, he was shocked when he saw the advertisement the first time which leads him to look up the male’s name. And from there he finds out about his professional career as a setter in a club in Tokyo and potential new setter of the national team.

“You’re a busy man, is that why relationship doesn’t work?” Hajime stares at his shoes.

“A big part of it is that.” Tooru nods.

They stay silent for a moment and Tooru remembers most of the reason of why his previous relationships ended. It is always how busy he is and how he isn’t there most of the time and always so caught up with volleyball. For Tooru if someone that wants to be with him isn’t going to understand what he does for life and how important it is to him then he think it’s better for them to leave him and not linger around even more.

“Is it going a problem?” Tooru asks.

Hajime raises an eyebrow at Tooru and nudges the male lightly, “Why should it be a problem?”

Before Tooru could ask about it more, again he is pull when their bus starts to pull in at the bus stop. They enter and take the seat at the very back of the bus. There weren’t any people beside them on the bus for the time but it’s literally in the middle of the week, so the lack of passengers isn’t weird.

“I’m not the type that would mind that my boyfriend isn’t always around or that I can’t always contact him.” Hajime tightens his hold on Tooru’s hand.

“And I certainly don’t see it as a problem.”

Tooru leans his head down to Hajime’s shoulder. “I’m glad then.”

 

“Why did you want to come here?” Tooru’s eyes are fix on the jelly fishes in the tanks.

“I love looking at fishes. Brings back memories.” Hajime shyly admits.

“Memories?”

“My dad loves taking me to the aquarium when I was younger. It’s a place that brings fond memories.”

Tooru has a fond smile on his face, “I can see you being like your father when you become a father.”

“I would really love to take my children here.” Hajime agrees.

At the exit of this tank there is a group of kindergarten students with their teachers, out for a school trip at the aquarium sounds very fun. And Hajime would admit that he is a little jealous of them.

“Oh! Look at them, they’re holding hands!” A boy points at the pair.

“Do you think they love each other? Mama says it’s what people do when they love someone!” A girl adds.

Hajime and Tooru both blush after over hearing the two kids. One of the teacher apologises for the two kids but the pair didn’t mind that much. Walking pass the group is embarrassing when the kids are all giggling at them. But this is where Hajime learns that Tooru is quite shameless when the older leans his cheek on Hajime’s shoulder in a loving manner.

“Stop, it’s embarrassing.” Hajime mutters.

“No, it’s not.”

“It is.”

“Iwaizumi, do you love me?” Tooru playfully ask.

Hajime stops walking and looks at Tooru seriously, face scrunch up, “Do you want an honest answer or are you playing?”

“I would love an honest answer.” Tooru looks away.

“I can definitely love you.” Hajime says.

“It can start now.” He adds.

“Then am I your boyfriend?”

“If you want to.”

“It’s official then. We’re a thing.”

 

Takahiro comes around when he hears Issei’s alarm go off. “Shut it.”

“Am doing it.” Issei groans.

“Why isn’t it off yet.” Takahiro turns to his side.

“Cause my eyes are closed so I can’t see it.” Issei mumbles.

“What the fuck Issei?” He groans and sits up.

He sees Issei trying to feel out where the damn alarm clock is but of course is failing with excellence, so he takes it upon himself to shut it. He reaches over Issei and slams the alarm clock shut before falling back into bed.

“Thank you,” The other male mutters.

“Well, it’s for my own peace too. Why is the alarm so early?” Takahiro questions.

“Work.” Issei sighs and sits up. “Don’t you have ungodly hours classes?”

“Nope, but if you’re going to leave at an ungodly hour today, can I get a lift?” Takahiro dives deeper into his pillow.

“Sure, just get up.”

“Yea, yea, go freaking shower first.”

 

“You’re really dressed for the cold.” Issei comments on his outfit when they were about to leave.

Takahiro looks up from tying his converse, “What? I hate the cold.” He’s in a sweater with a jacket on top and a scarf around his neck.

“You hate it that much?” Unlike Takahiro, Issei is in his work clothes and a simple wool coat on top.

“Despise it. Winters are the worst for me. Expect to see some socks in bed.” Takahiro stands up and gets his bag. “Don’t look at me weird. Don’t you ever that cold before?”

Issei shakes his head, “I have high tolerance for cold.”

“Well, lucky you. Come on let’s go.”

As ask by Takahiro, Issei drives his husband to his college that morning. A part of Takahiro is surprise that Issei would send him. Takahiro says goodbye to his husband with an awkward smile and gets off the car, “Have a great day at the office. Don’t come home to late.”

“Actually,” Issei looks at Takahiro. “I am going to come back late today. Don’t wait up.”

“Don’t say that because I’ll always wait up.” Takahiro shuts the car door and walks off to the gates.

 

Issei arrives at work a little later than he usually does but still so early. He sits in his office early in the mornings alone with a cup of tea he makes for himself. Today he dials a number.

“Hey, sorry for calling this early. Can I talk to her?” He asks the person he calls.

“In a minute, she’s getting ready.” The caller says.

“Okay, I’ll wait.” Issei stares out his window.

The phone call lasts not more than 10 minutes – not that he minds how long it is, even a second is enough for him. Ending the call and facing his reality, Issei realises how truly bleak his life has been after he ascended the throne as he like to say. His time are for work and never for himself. For the last five years several things have gone wrong for him and things weren’t easy for him, even now he is still getting shit from the elder board members despite doing a good job. Marrying Takahiro apparently is just to strengthen his position, their marriage he learns if due to a promise made by his grandfather and Takahiro’s. Cliché kind of thing but it happens. He doesn’t love Takahiro, he doesn’t even like the male in the romantic kind of way. But Takahiro certainly have his charms and he knows that slowly but surely Takahiro is getting under his skin and if he is to keep it up maybe – just maybe Issei could really love him.

 

“Matsukawa-san, do you have a partner?” A girl from his class suddenly ask.

Takahiro looks up from his sketch book, “uhh…yeah? Why do you ask?”

She pouts slightly, “You’re always wearing a ring. That’s a bummer though, my friend is interested in you. Guess I’ll have to tell her the bad news.”

“Oh, I’m married actually.” Takahiro softly says.

“What? Married?” Her eyes pop out.

“Yea, just recently though.” He nods.

“How come no one heard if this?”

“It’s just marriage, nothing to make a big news about. People get married all the time.” He shrugs.

“But not this early! Marriage is a serious thing!”

“Yea it is, but sometimes it just happens. I guess.” He pauses. “I don’t know either, it just happened so suddenly.”

The girls continue talking about marriage and he slowly turns back to his sketch book to finish a rough sketch for a piece he’s planning to do. Looking down at the silver ring on his ring finger he wonders how many people have wonder about it but were just too polite to ask him about it. Takahiro only replies with distant hums and nods to the girl. He couldn’t wait to get class over with.

 

It’s late at night when Issei comes home today, he’s starving after the extra work he put into an upcoming project. He doesn’t bother to say anything when he gets in the house seeing how dark it is, he knows no one is awake at this hour. Needing some food, he goes to the kitchen after leaving his bag and coat on the floor beside the staircase. He folds his sleeves up to his elbow and opens the fridge. He scans it to look for something to eat – leftovers would be nice. He hears footsteps coming towards the kitchen.

“Mother?” He calls out.

“No, just me.” He sees the tuff of pinkish brown hair and a tall frame drape with a cardigan.

“Oh, it’s you. Didn’t I tell you to not wait up?” Issei turn back to the fridge.

“Hungry?”

 “Starving.”

“I’ll cook something.” Takahiro slides next to Issei and takes out a slice of fish.

“You don’t have to.” Issei protests.

“Just let me. Sit down.” Takahiro gives him a look.

“Fine,”

Issei reheats the leftover rice in the rice cooker while Takahiro puts the fish into the fish oven and makes a quick miso soup for him. After getting everything ready he puts a kettle on. He sits across from Issei.

“Thank you for the food.” Issei begins eating. “You’re good at cooking.”

“Thanks,” Takahiro smiles softly.

“Why are you still awake?”

“Assignments, couldn’t sleep.” He shrugs.

“You should rest more. Always staying up late.” Issei takes a piece of fish.

“You’re one to talk.” Takahiro chuckles.

The male gets up when the kettle starts to make noises. He turns the heat off and grabs a mug, “Do you want some hot chocolate?” He asks Issei. “No, I’m fine.”, he pours hot water in and gets the premade mix. He comes back to his previous seat.

“About our marriage.” Issei starts.

“What about it?”

“It’s just – I don’t know how they got you to agree. I want to know why. If that’s alright with you.” He explains.

“Only if you tell me you reason.”

“I will. And my reason is because my mother threatened me.” Issei puts his chopstick down. His plate clear of food.

“Threatened?”

“She’d do anything to make her – that person, suffer if I didn’t agree to the marriage. She would be taken away from me, I couldn’t see her again and my mother would use her power to see it through.” Issei says sternly.

“It is like a trade, my happiness for her wellbeing. And sacrificing my happiness seems like the right thing to do for her. It was a small price to pay but it came with you.” Issei adds.

“I’m sorry that happened.”

“It’s not your fault.”

For a moment there, Takahiro understands how Issei feels. The sadness that he has never seen on the man’s face becomes clear and it saddens Takahiro that it’s like Issei’s usual expression. To think that he might have worn that sad face all those time, but no one really recognises it. Takahiro can relate.

Issei forces a smile and in the end, it looks stiff, he stacks his plates and carries it to the sink. “Tell me yours.” He gives time for Takahiro to speak, seeing how Takahiro is in a daze – hands wrap around the warm mug.

“I didn’t agree, I had no choice.” It comes out as a whisper.

Issei doesn’t reply and instead he slows down his actions, so he could hear Takahiro clearly. “I found out three days before the wedding and by that time I had nowhere to run to.”

“So, they just threw you into the jaws of death.” The tap water is turn off and the sound of dishes being place on the dish rack fills the short silence.

“Don’t make it sound so dramatic – but yeah, into the jaws of death I went.” Takahiro sips his drink.

“Oh, too bad you married a drama queen.”

“Is that why you don’t come home?”

Issei smirks and falls into the seat, “Like I said, drama queen.”

Takahiro laughs, his mug on the dining table and hands covering his mouth. “You’re not the unbearable to be with.”

Issei raises an eyebrow, “What does that mean?”

Takahiro’s laugh stops, and he freezes for a split second. “I don’t know, you put up this ‘I hate everything in this house’ thing and it makes you seem so unbearable to be with plus you were a jerk at first. But you’re not too bad, Issei.”

Takahiro knows he slip his tongue. He remembers the talk he had with Hajime a while back ago. When Hajime asked if he was feeling something for the man that’s right in front of him and if he was okay if Issei had a lover. At that time, he said _, “I don’t think I mind him having a lover, but I would love to have someone with me. To make things a little more bearable. It would be nice if he was there for me and with me.”_

 Issei looks at him as if he doesn’t believe what Takahiro is saying. Takahiro rolls his eyes and drinks his hot chocolate quietly.

“I guess we’re on good terms?”

“On good terms.”

And for the first time they felt closer to one another.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you reading as always! Thank you for the supports TuT I would like to say that the next chapter will come later than usual due to real life happening. It sucks. But I hope you guys won't mind it and I'll try to find time in to write the next chapter! I would love to hear your thoughts on the story! See ya on the next chapter OuO


	6. VI

Takahiro knows he didn’t have the happiest childhood that he could have experienced. It begins with the haunting hallways of his house where he is always greeted with darkness and often the old maid who tells him his mother is in her office, so much difference to when his brothers come home. His mother would be by the door to welcome them; he didn't take it to heart. The comparing and scolding is next, even as a young child he knows he is punished more often than his brothers. They are always praised for their accomplishments and mistakes coming from them are continuously over look with light reminders. At some point, he sees his father having a permanent disappointed look on his face –but of course not when he looks at Takahiro’s eldest brother, Haruki, the definition of a perfect child. If you ask Takahiro now, what could he possibly envy his brothers about the most, he would answer the doting and loving look they get from his parents. He was just not good enough for their love he supposes.

Takahiro knows of the trouble running in his family in the year he turns 10, it starts when he is forced out of the house. He couldn't say no because things weren't that great in his house hold when his mother starts to smell to much of alcohol and cigarettes, his father is barely home with the excuse of kimonos but it seems that Takahiro's mother sniffed out the lies.

He remembers getting out of bed when he hears muffle shouting coming from one of the common rooms that is further away from the bedrooms.

"Who is that women?" The words are slurred, it seems that she is drunk.

"Am I not enough?" It comes out along with a sob, any women knowing that her husband is having an affair would be devastated of course.

Takahiro peeks out of his bedroom door and tip toes closer to the room. He hears a sigh and footsteps walking around the room. "Look at yourself. How would you feel coming home to see a drunkard as a spouse!" His father sounds like he has given up and maybe there is a mixture of disgust. "What happened to you? Where is my wife? Where is that woman that I love so much?"

"She is gone when that useless child was brought into the world!" She shouts and a loud pang follows after the shout, a slap to a face. Sobs that seems to have been kept for a long time are let out. All that is happening in the dark of the night makes Takahiro runs away back to his room and hides under the covers. He couldn’t believe it; his mother really does hate him.

Kaito Hanamaki kneels down in front of his sobbing wife. His better judgement regrets the affair and the slap. People may say he is a good man but he is not a good husband nor father. His own family is falling apart and he can’t seem to pick up the pieces, it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

Softly he takes his wife’s hand into his. "Never blame our son. Things happen for a reason." He lifts her face to make her look at him.

Fat tears fall down her cheeks –one is clearly reddening, "I gave him life but he took away my woman hood." She mourns, "You wouldn't understand the feeling of hearing from a doctor that you can't bear life ever again. Just because of one child." It’s sad to think that a mother could hate her own child.

Kaito pulls his wife into his arms, “Yes, I admit I would not understand that feeling. That is why I need you sober, I need you to make me understand. I need my wife back.”

“Lies, if you really need me, then why did you even look for her?” She pushes him away.

“I’m sorry. But please, let me fix this.” He says. “Our family, let me save our family.”

 

He moves into his uncle’s house; he is his mother’s younger brother who lives in Tokyo. His grandparents also live with him which is probably why his parents chooses to send him here. So it would be more comfortable for him the least to have someone he knows around since Takahiro barely knows his uncle’s children. Arriving there he could see the rage in his uncle’s eyes –not to him yet to his parents. They quickly drop him off and settle his school matters before leaving for Sendai the same day. His uncle is kind of him, often making the initiative to converse with him despite getting curt answers.

He is mostly hostile towards his uncle, his wife and the children in the beginning yet never to grandparents. His auntie takes that as a chance to make him open up bit by bit, she asks him for his help concerning his grandparents and he wouldn’t say no, and she would praise him for such a simple task as per how she does with her children and slowly she sees him getting less hostile.  

“He’s a good boy just maybe his goodness hasn’t been appreciated before.” She tells her husband.

Sho silently agrees with his wife, “Ever since I heard of what happen to her after the birth, I worry if one day she would hate him for it. I know my sister. But I didn’t think I would be right away.”

“I thought she was capable of loving and forgiving. I thought wrong.” He sighs.

“It’s not always easy, for now let’s just give Takahiro all the love we can. Maybe one day your sister will love him.” His wife says softly.

Takahiro’s favourite places in the world is his grandmother’s arms. He loves the warmth and love she emits when he would lay in her arms on bad days. On days when things get too much that his heart starts beating in an oddly fast pace like he was running but he really isn’t doing anything, and when his head seems to be spinning so badly and his breath is short. She would hold him close and sing him a lullaby to that helps to decrease all that. To this day he still hums the melody despite the words has slip his mind. His grandmother would let him sleep beside her when he gets nightmares or when he just feels sad. Even to the moment before she got terribly sick and he already towers over her, she still welcomes him to curl up against her as if he was his baby.

Middle school starts and with his parents not checking up on his often, Takahiro takes the opportunity to explore something new, like volleyball and art. Although he has always love to draw but his mother is not fond of him going down that path and rather she would like him to be learning business like his brothers except for Haruki who has the privilege of both. If they weren’t checking up on him that means they don’t care enough about him hence he made the decision himself, that he would join the team and also take the art subject offered in his school. Of course his uncle and auntie found out sooner or later, he half expected them to tell his parents but all his uncle say to him is, “You need proper shoes and stationeries for volleyball and art right?”

Takahiro nods hesitantly, “Yes, I do.”

“We’ll go shopping this weekend, Junichi needs things for school too.” His uncle looks at him with a smile.

“Alright!” Takahiro grins.

“Good, now go wash up and then help your aunt in the kitchen. Yui isn’t feeling good. Reckon she needs your help since I’m a disaster in the kitchen.” His uncle pats his shoulder.

Takahiro laughs before excusing himself to him room.

 

At first Takahiro takes art as something that he enjoys to do in his free time and nothing more. Taking the subject as part of his curriculum gives him more opportunities to explore the vast mediums and techniques one can use paint. But the reason why he is doing art now isn’t due to the enjoyment he gets from doing in his free time nor in class. It is his aunt who really help him discover art and she is the one who encourage him. Being a painter herself, she sees his talent but knows that Takahiro won’t go down that path when he returns to his parents if he keeps on doubting his art as he is at the time. So she brings him into her studio and takes him along when she and her friends have get together to paint, none of her children takes interests in art so when Takahiro’s face lights up upon mentioning her plans – it was a different kind of joy.

As the years pass by, Takahiro feels more like a son than a nephew, more of a brother than cousin. 5 years of living with his uncle really change him, Takahiro is more than ready to look for art school in Tokyo when he is about to graduate from middle school. He decided then that he would pursue to learn art, no matter what his parents would say. It is his choice and it’s all in his hands. They can’t deny this from him after throwing him away from their house. But it didn’t go as he plans it would go, his grandmother starts to fall sick and after a fainting episode – she is taken to the hospital and with her health declining fast after the incident, his parents decide that it’s best he returns home to lessen the burden on his uncle.

He didn’t want to leave. He begs to his uncle but knowing his mother, she wouldn’t listen. So Takahiro as always goes along with her words. He’s back to being an obedient child, the unloved one. Upon returning, he notices that his mother changed.  She doesn’t smell of the things she used to smell of but that is all. There were only a few years until college, he could survive till then.

Well, at the time he though he could.

 

Autumn passes by in a blink of an eye and winter comes to Takahiro’s dismay but he has no control over the weather. Issei still goes to Tokyo on some Sundays and Takahiro tries to not question too much or mind about it too much. He trusts Issei’s words of telling him about the person when the time is right and he will wait and respect Issei’s decision. But this week is different, Takahiro is huddled in bed with socks on and the covers around him like a cocoon while Issei – who by the way Takahiro deems crazy for doing what he’s doing in the winter – just got out of the shower, totally okay with putting on clothes slowly as if it wasn’t freezing.

“Hey, we need to go out.” Issei says as he slips on a pair of jeans on.

Takahiro grumbles from his cocoon, “No we don’t. Not in this cold.”

Issei sits on the edge of the bed, just beside Takahiro’s clothed feet. “We need to; you need an outfit for the Gala I mentioned.”

“I don’t since I’m not going.” He turns away from Issei.

Issei lays down and tugs at the end of the cocoon. “You have to, there are people waiting to meet you. Well, to meet you and murder you if I’m completely honest.”

“You know that isn’t convincing.” Takahiro glares at Issei.

Issei shrugs, “Worth a try and I wasn’t kidding. There are ladies out there jealous of you. And would probably like your head as a trophy.”

Takahiro snorts, “Why? Cause’ I married you – the drama queen?”

“Indeed.”

“You need me there just to spite people huh.” Takahiro mutters.

“Well, there are a few people I would love to spite. And for once, let’s get those pampered sons and daughters of rich Ceo’s and young Ceo’s talking about the Matsukawa’s.” Issei turns to his side and rest his head on his palm.

“Will they talk about me?” Takahiro asks.

“You are a Matsukawa now. Plus, they’ve already been saying things about you.” Issei chuckles.

“Not exactly nice things.” Issei whispers.

“Oh, hell no. What did they say?” Takahiro untangles the cocoon in small rage.

“They said you’re unattractive. Hence that’s why your family agreed to an arrange marriage.” Issei stares at the younger male, his eyes wide and cheeks slightly puff.

“Okay, we’re going shopping.” Takahiro gets off the bed and marches into the bathroom.

Issei has a small smile on his face, “I would’ve told them otherwise but I figured that they should see the beauty with their own eyes.” It comes out as a whisper that only Issei and the air could hear.

 

“Is there a dress code of some sort during the Gala?” Takahiro asks as he ties the laces of his shoes.

“The organizers will set a theme every year and this year is wild nights.” Issei explains.

Takahiro laughs, “That sounds cheesy.”

“It isn’t always as cheesy as it sounds. But things can get a little crazy.”

Takahiro stands up and they get ready to leave the house, “Quick question. Should I be all over you just to spite some people?”

Issei snickers, “That’s up to you, just give me a heads up before pulling something. All I ask is for you too looking dashing that night.”

“I guess I could pull out all the tricks to make people’s jaw drop.” Takahiro smirks.

“Come on let’s go. We’re going to Ginza.”

 

“Well, well, finally it seems you’ve brought to me your bride.” A handsome man approaches the two of them once they arrive at Tokyo station.

“Shut up Tooru.” Issei rolls his eyes, “And don’t call him my bride that’s just straight up weird.”

“Then, introduce me to him.” Tooru pouts.

Issei turns to Takahiro, “This is Oikawa Tooru, my high school friend and pain in the ass.”

“Tooru, this is well I guess it’s Matsukawa Takahiro now. My husband.”

“Nice to finally meet you, Matsukawa-san.” Tooru extends his hand to Takahiro.

“Just call me Takahiro. It’s weird calling me by his sir name. And of course, the pleasure is all mine to meet the setter of Tokyo Club.” Takahiro smiles.

“Okay, he didn’t tell me you know me.” Tooru raises an eyebrow.

“Of course, he didn’t. He never bothered to ask.” Takahiro shrugs.

Tooru shakes his head, “That’s not the way to treat your husband, Matsun.”

“Matsun?” Takahiro has a sheepish smile on his face.

“This was a mistake.” Issei grumbles.

 

The three of them then make their way to Ginza with Tooru driving them around for the day. Small talks happen between the three of them, “It seems shopping for you might not be as hard as it is to shop for Matsun.” Tooru glances at the person at the back seat.

“I can only imagine what shopping with this drama queen would be like.”

“Oh, let me tell you. It’s horrible. Nothing fits him.”

Upon arriving at Ginza and after parking the car, the three male begins their quest of finding a perfect outfit for Takahiro. Issei leads the way into a luxury brand shop, walking into the shop like he owns the whole building and knowing the Matsukawa family’s fortune, he could very well be an investor.

“You’re back, Matsukawa-san. Can I entertain you with some of the latest pieces we have in store?” A worker approaches Issei with a polite smile.

Issei looks around before nodding, “Please do, I’m counting on you as usual. But this time it’s for my husband.” Issei reaches his hand out towards Takahiro, Tooru pushes Takahiro forward softly.

“Hello.”

“Ah, yes. Hello, so this is the lucky one.” The worker smiles. “If you don’t mind, Matsukawa-San, could you remove you coat. I need some simple measurements for your size before we get you into the clothes.”

Takahiro nods and removes his coat which Issei takes from him and begins to wander around the store while the worker leads him into a back room where he takes Takahiro’s measurements. “You can look around the store while we prepare some pieces for you.”

“So you shop here often?” Takahiro falls into a pace with Issei.

“They have nice shirts here. Mother brought me here when I started working. Naturally this became the place I look for clothes.” Issei explains.

Takahiro nods but doesn’t reply and instead he looks through the hanging shirts, the clothes are not what he would usually wear but he can definitely see Issei in every one of these shirts and he would look so good that it might just hurt Takahiro. Although it shouldn’t.

 All this while Tooru is standing near a glass display in it is a bunch of ties. And he can’t help but think of a certain someone who he just recently in his formal outfit and Tooru thinks he needs a new tie. He knows Hajime would appreciate the gift but would it be too much if he knew what one of these ties costs?

“Is there anything that catches your eyes, Sir?” A female worker approaches him.

Tooru stares down at the ties, “These ties are gorgeous but it would be too burdensome to get it right now, wouldn’t it?”

“Pardon me Sir?”

“Oh it’s nothing. Just mindless talk.” Tooru gives her a smile before walking towards the couple.

“I was wondering, how far are you willing to go for the Gala?” Tooru pops in between the couple.

The pinkish brown haired male looks at Issei, “Can I go a little sexy with it?”

“Whatever you want.” Issei shrugs.

“Oh honey, let’s go wild. Get people talking.”

“Then, I’ll trust you to dress me accordingly.”

In front of them now are two racks of shirts, pants and jackets ranging from silk to velvet. Takahiro looks unsurely at Tooru who has a smirk on his face. Indeed, Issei was right. This was a mistake.

“These are really bold pieces.” He mutters.

“I heard that the Gala is near, hence we only let certain people see this pieces.” The male worker from earlier tells him.

“No one else saw this pieces?” Issei looks at one of the silk shirts in deep burgundy.

“You’re the first ones. Although Tamura-San did come by a few days ago.”

“Tamura?”

“He’s attending this year?” Tooru rolls his eyes.

Takahiro sense a tension in the air after the name is mentioned but Nakata Tamura isn’t a stranger to him. Everyone knows how annoying that guy is.

“I told him that the new pieces weren’t available for the public yet. He couldn’t do anything of course.” He smiles.

After what feels like a million times of going in and out of the dressing room to try the clothes on, they finally agreed on the look. Takahiro feeling a little shy with the long stare that Issei is giving him. The silk V-neck shirt exposes a lot of skin not to mention it is sleeveless. His pants are rather form fitting and the blue velvet jacket makes the outfit not too boring. Issei smirks, happy at the result.

“We’ll take it.” Issei says.

“Of course, we’ll proceed as usual?”

“As usual.”

Takahiro changes back into his own clothes and hand the pieces to the worker before joining Issei and Tooru at the cashier. Issei is almost done purchasing the items.

“We’ll have it and your outfit together at the hotel at that night. It’ll be sent to the dry cleaners beforehand.” The cashier says as she hands Issei the receipt and his card back.

“Thank you.”

 

“That was tiring.” Tooru pouts.

“You can go home if you want to, we’ll just catch a cab or something.” Issei glances at Tooru.

Tooru ponders it for a while, “Nah, let’s go get lunch then I’ll ditch you guys.”

 

Takahiro learns that Tooru is true to his words. After a quick lunch at yet another place where Issei and Tooru are regulars, Tooru excuses himself first. Issei and him decides that they rather go home than walk around Tokyo. So they catch a cab to Tokyo station and take the next train home. They arrive home in the afternoon, both fall into their daily routine in the house. Issei going over some documents while Takahiro gets his paints out again.

That night before they fall asleep, Takahiro scoots closer to Issei, “It’s cold.”

“You’re already hogging most of the blanket. How can you still be cold?”

“I don’t know, it’s just still cold.”

Issei sighs, “Come here. I need the blanket too.” He wraps an arm around Takahiro’s waist, pulling the male a little closer than usual.

“Better?”

“Better.”

“Hey Issei,” Takahiro whispers.

“Yea?”

“Thanks for today. It was fun meeting your friend and all.”

“Well, I’m glad you like and can get along with Tooru.”

“Me too, Matsun.”

“Ugh.”

A soft giggle comes from Takahiro before silence and slumber comes for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still alive guys. Sorry for disappearing for months. College happened and then my laptop needed to be fixed. Twice. The second time I actually lost what I originally wrote for this chapter and it just poofed. I'll try to update more if I can fit writing in somewhere. Welp, I hope you guys like this chapter. Do leave a comment. And Thanks for reading.


	7. VII

Issei wakes up the next morning with a weight in his arms, Takahiro stuck to him like a magnet throughout the night and is still in his arms. Issei doesn’t pull away and instead he leans in closer and rests his chin on Takahiro’s head, he lets out a breath. In the words of Oikawa Tooru a few years back, Issei doesn’t like to admit things –even obvious things. For example, what is happening right now. He knows yet he would never admit it with his own mouth that Takahiro is growing on him. 

The past few months has been filled with the man that’s in his arms even with a few get away to Tokyo to meet _her_. It was clear at the beginning that both of them were reluctant to allow each other into their lives but things have now ended up like this and Issei think it’s maybe time for Takahiro to know the whole truth. Maybe after the gala. Issei slips out of bed a few minutes later and gets ready for the day, as he leaves the room he hears a soft mumble of “Have a great day.”, and it causes an endearing smile to form on his face.

 

“Brief my schedule for today.” Issei checks his watch before returning to the documents in his hands.

“Yes, Sir.” His secretary takes out a tablet –finger clicking away to open his daily schedule. She clears her throat before starting. “At 9 there will be a board meeting with Sony, the next meeting is scheduled at noon, a lunch with Madame Ines. She arrived from France last night –shall I prepare something for her?” She pauses and looks at Issei through the rear-view mirror, seeking for his permission and opinion.

Issei ponder a moment before nodding, “Yes, maybe a bouquet of roses. A few dozens.” She smiles, “Alright, a few dozens of roses for Madame Ines.” Her fingers move fast to add it to her planner. “After the lunch with Madame Ines, she arranged for you to come along with her to the gallery to view her works and knowing Madame Ines, she might want to have dinner with you.”

“Tell her assistant that I can’t do dinner.” Issei closes the file and place it beside him and turns out to look at the busy road.

“May I ask why, sir?” She inquiries into it.

“I want to spend time at home.”

 

“Oh, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you, Matsukawa-san.” A smirk on a face that makes Issei’s blood boil.

“Yea, I would’ve preferred if we never saw each other again.” Issei mutters.

“Too bad then but I’m looking forward to meeting your husband soon. I’ve heard many interesting things about him.” Tamura glances at Issei.

“I don’t know what you’ve been hearing from your friends but I believe it probably isn’t true. Haven’t you learnt to not trust your source?” Issei merely chuckles.

Tamura tsk, “It isn’t source if it’s coming from someone who knows your husband isn’t it?”

This was a test Issei figures, Tamura just wants to see if he could get Issei fired up and honestly, Issei could get fired up just by seeing his face. But it isn’t a good image for him and his family so Issei keeps it at bay. Issei raises an eyebrow –he tries not to show that he is surprise, “Now who might that person be?”

“Not important. Enough of the chit chat, shall we?” Tamura motions to the meeting room. Without a word, Issei steps in first and takes his seat after greeting a few other familiar faces in the room, having curt conversations here and there with the other CEO’s and managing directors in the room. He learns that meeting room are somewhat a war place, you can either make friends or enemies in this room it depends on how you present yourself and vision.

“I heard Madame Ines is in Sendai.” Tamura begins another conversation with him as they are seated next to each other.

Issei places the glass of water that he was taking a sip from down and looks at the male. “Yes, indeed she is. I’m apparently meeting her for lunch.” He says with a hint of disbelief in his voice.

“Well –” He chuckles, “– she’s like that with things or people that she takes a _particular_ interest in.” Tamura gives him a mischievous look. Issei manages to smile sheepishly –despite wanting to punch the male beside him –while shaking his head, “You know I can’t do that now Tamura-San,” Issei checks his watch again. “She’s a married woman and I’m a married man.”

Tamura scoffs, “Yea, she’s married to a man who’s barely in her life and is probably out with some other woman. And you- you married someone who apparently has the family name yet no one knows this person.” He shifts in her seat. “Why is that no one knows?”

“I believe my husband is a private person and I’m not comfortable with you asking too much questions about my husband –” Issei eyes bore into Tamura’s eyes as he stress on the word ‘my husband’. “–and I think it’s best for you to keep all your questions to yourself until I officially introduce him.” That seem to do the trick when Tamura stops asking about Takahiro.

 

“Monsieur Matsukawa.” A thick French accented voice calls out for him.

Issei turns around towards the direction the voice is calling out for him, a bouquet of roses in his hand and a polite smile ready on his face. He sees the blonde woman in her over the top outfit and high heels, walking towards him with a huge smile on her face. “Madame.”

As per usual the woman leans in to peck his cheeks on both sides and Issei really doesn’t bother to say anything despite he actually doesn’t like it but Madame Ines is a valuable person to his family. She’s a friend of his youngest aunt in her teen days in France and now she had become a business partner.

Issei hands her the flowers, “For you Madame.” He knows he done it right when her smile widens as she accepts and brings the flowers close to her face –taking a quick smell. “This is so lovely of you, Matsukawa. Now –” She links her arm with his. “–Let’s eat!”

She couldn’t stop looking at the flowers as they sit at their reserved seat in the restaurant, “It’s been ages since I’ve gotten this much roses. My husband used to do this but of course that was then.” She says with a hint of sadness in her voice.

“Well, it’s his loss for not making you this happy.” Issei sips his wine.

She props her chin on her palm –leaning closer into him. “What about you? Will you make me happy if you could?”.

Issei chuckles, “You know I can’t do that, Madame. I have a husband waiting for me at home.” Issei doesn’t know it but a smitten smile appears on his face when he says it and of course his thoughts goes to Takahiro whining about the cold.

Ines nods and takes her wine glass, seating back into her seat while downing the wine. “Indeed. And he is a lucky man. I would love to meet him some day.”

“Apparently he’s popular with people around me. But of course you will meet him. He’d love to meet you.” Issei just looks at the woman in front of him, slightly worried that every time he meets her she looks even more angry or in pain when the topic of her husband comes up. “He studies art, maybe you two can get along.”

“Now that’s interesting. You must bring him along to the gallery.” She places her empty wine glass back on the table.

 

 

 Hajime sighs, it’s getting dark outside and he’s on his way back as usual, riding the train that’s like a sardine can at this time. Even though he could just stay back a little later to ride a train that he wouldn’t have to feel people breathing against him but he just wants to go home. It doesn’t really help when he’s got a few assignments to get done. Balancing the internship and classes is harder than he thought it would be but there’s no way he could pull out of the internship now and it would be a loss for him.  

After 5 stops the train finally had enough space for him to breathe and thankfully it would be his stop soon and then just a 10-minute walk to his humble apartment. For all he knows is that it could warm and lighted or cold and dark, it depends if his lover is coming over unannounced as he usually does or not. Pulling his coat closer to his body once he cold hits his body as he gets off the train, Hajime focuses not on the cold and instead at the warmth that he has felt ever since Tooru and him became involved with each other.

Despite them not being able to see each other as often as they both would like – they didn’t mind it. They still talked on the phone daily but of course how long it goes on really depended on how much time was available or if Tooru was even in the country.  Last two weeks was the only week where they talked on the phone for hours every day before complete silence since Tooru left for America for another friendly and team building camp of some sort for two weeks. Tooru is already back but he figures the older man is tired so he didn’t really try to call as much as he wanted.

Hajime jams his keys into the door knob and unlock it, upon opening the door he could tell that Tooru is here and not just from the lights but also the soft scent of vanilla and roses – it must his scented candles again. Hajime takes off his shoes and slips on his house slippers. A little bit too excited to see his own boyfriend in his home although Tooru has already crashed at his place a few nights before but he knows this feeling comes from the obvious lack of physical contact in their relationship.

“Tooru?” He calls out.

“Oh you’re back!” Tooru chirps – a cheerful expression on his face.

He comes behind the couch that Tooru is sitting in, he stands behind the male. Tooru looks up at him and he stares down at Tooru, both smiling bashfully at each other before Hajime leans down to kiss Tooru. The kiss starts slow and is mostly pecks before it turns to an open mouthed kiss, Tooru lets out a satisfied sigh like he’s been waiting for this moment for all his life. Hajime pulls away first and chuckles when he sees Tooru pouting.

“I have to shower; it won’t take long.” Hajime runs his fingers through Tooru’s brown hair.

“Don’t go. I want to kiss you longer.” Tooru reaches for Hajime’s arm.

Hajime chuckles and leans down again to place a peck on Tooru’s lips and the he pushes the males bangs aside before he kisses the exposed forehead. “I’ll be quick, then you can have me all to yourself for a bit before I got to get some work done.”

“Fair enough.” He smiles softly, “I’ll heat up your dinner.”

“Thank you love.”  

 

After dinner the couple sit in front of the TV with Tooru leaning and hugging Hajime’s arm while both their eyes are glued on what is playing. “How was training?”  Hajime asks when the TV plays a commercial, he turns his head towards Tooru. Tooru nuzzles against his arm before answering his question, “It was fine as usual, we had a fun game with them.”

“Are you going to be busy this following weeks?” This time Tooru asks, the male pulls away from clinging to his boyfriend. “Yea, it’s near finals so I’m probably going to be busy going to the University then work. Are you?” Hajime tilts his head. Tooru pouts a little before nodding, “Well, it’s not really because of training since it’s our break for winter. But there’s this huge dinner that I usual go to and I’m thinking of going alone.” Tooru says before he quickly waves his hand in the air like he was trying to clear something out. “It’s not that I don’t want you to meet my friends or anything. It’s just the crowd there is just a tad – no they’re pain in the asses. So I think it isn’t the right time to bring you around yet.”

Hajime stares at Tooru in silence, seeing how the male start to panic at his silence. “Hajime –” He cuts Tooru’s sentence with a soft kiss of the latter’s lips. He pulls away with a silly grin on his face, “You don’t have to go around introducing me to everyone. We’re still new. But do introduce me to your close friends soon enough.” Tooru’s eyes goes wide and his cheeks begin to colour, “Mean! You’re so mean, I was so scared you were going to hate me! Mean Iwa-chan!” Tooru yells and begin to hit Hajime with a cushion. Hajime laughs aloud and lets his boyfriend hit him, “Iwa-chan?” He questions Tooru. Tooru grins finally stopped hitting Hajime, “My cute Iwa-chan.”

Hajime flicks Tooru’s forehead lightly although it probably doesn’t hurt but Tooru still pouts, “Well this Iwa-chan of yours would really love to meet your friend. And he has to go do his work now.” Tooru rubs his forehead, “I’ll take you to meet Matsukawa when he’s free. I think his husband is your age.”

Hajime stops, Matsukawa? “Matsukawa Issei?”

“Yea, you’ve probably heard of him. Everyone in Japan has anyway.” Tooru shrugs.

“The one that married Hanamaki Takahiro?”

“Yea? How do you know his name? Takahiro is very low profile despite being a huge family.”

“Because Hiro is my best friend.”

 “Well this is –” Tooru pauses for a moment. “Interesting.”

 

 

“I’m home.” Issei slips on his house slippers and enters the hallway.

“Welcome home,” Takahiro comes to greet him in a kimono with his sleeves tied with a tasuki. This makes him wonder if they have guests but Takahiro whilst taking Issei’s coat denies and says that the guests has already left. “Did they just leave or what?” Issei waits for Takahiro to hang his coat before going upstairs together. Takahiro’s been doing really well with the things his mother asks him to do for Issei. Although Issei thinks it isn’t necessary for Takahiro to greet him every time he gets home and literally have him draw Issei a bath.

“I just didn’t have the time to change,” Takahiro shrugs. “How was work?” The question surprises Issei a little but he answers. “It was fine, wasn’t in the office much today. I had to entertain a business partner.” Issei sighs and loosens his tie. “Was it dreadful? I can’t stand being around old men who likes to think like they know everything about the world just cause’ they have money and their company makes millions.” Takahiro leads and opens their bedroom door, he goes straight to the bathroom to draw the bath while Issei goes to the closet.

“Well, it wasn’t that bad. And it was a she. Unlike those old men, she knows what she’s talking about.” Issei corrects Takahiro. “Oh,” Takahiro stops halfway but Issei doesn’t see this of course. “She wants to meet you. I’ll take you soon. You’ll love it. I hope.” Issei takes off his shirt and drops it into the laundry basket.

“Why does she want to meet me. I’m not some big shot anyway.” Takahiro dries his hands. Issei walks behind his husband and places a hand on his waist before resting his chin on the latter’s shoulder. “Are you jealous?” Takahiro jumps a little at the sudden touch but Issei now bravely has an arm around his waist, pulling him in closer. “What are you doing? Let me go!” Takahiro struggles around and it only makes Issei chuckles. “Relax, you’ve got to get used to this. Plus, I’m your husband, there’s nothing wrong with a hug. Is there?” Issei looks at Takahiro from the mirror and decides that Takahiro looks cute when he is flustered.

“Can you please just let me go? Your mother is still waiting for me in the kitchen.” Takahiro huffs. Issei gives him a tight squeeze before letting him go with an amused face. “I will punch you if you don’t wipe off that look!” He threatens Issei but it’s an empty threat. “Yea, yea. Then don’t go looking for me when you’re freezing cold in bed.” Issei unbuckles his belt slowly, “Now I have a bath to take, thank you for preparing it for me.” Takahiro rolls his eyes and leaves the bathroom.

 

He leans against the closed door, cursing his husband to the lowest pits of hell for teasing him. Takahiro touches his hot cheeks and begins to fan them in hopes to lose the colour before going back down to the kitchen. A slight buzz remains where Issei touched him and Takahiro hates to admit that it’s affecting him in more ways than he thought Issei could affect him. He needs to talk to Hajime soon. This can’t be happening. Takahiro isn’t falling for Issei.

 

After dinner and a long needed shower, Takahiro crawls into the covers earlier than usual. The bed is cold and the usual extra clothing he put on doesn’t help as much as they used to and Takahiro is forced to wait for Issei to climb into bed. The said male is on the phone with a client who decided to call him at this hour. “What did they want at this hour?” Takahiro asks when Issei ends the call. “Nothing just asking if I was well, if you were well.” Issei shrugs. “It’s pretty normal. Been getting these calls ever since I replaced Father.”

“They could have done so in the morning like people need sleep.” He turns to lie on his side, Issei lifts the covers on his side before getting in. Issei looks at him solemnly before laying down. “Cold?” Takahiro nods, “Come here.” Issei opens up his arms. Takahiro stares at him for a while, wondering if it’s okay for him to do so. “It’s alright.” Issei whispers. Takahiro then slowly goes into Issei’s arms again. “That wasn’t so bad was it?”

“Who knows.”

 

Takahiro stares at his phone for a fat minute, his teeth trying to find comfort by biting the skin of his fingertip. He lost all words to type to Hajime. It seems like Hajime would always be the perfect person to talk to about anything but when it comes down to his possible feeling about Issei, Takahiro doesn't know how to bring it up and the fact that his friend doesn't really like Issei for reasons doesn't help. He doesn’t have anyone to turn to about this except Hajime and one other person who possibly can understand a little bit of what Takahiro is going through. And it's the one and only Sawamura Koushi, who just recently gave birth to a beautiful child. Takahiro isn't sure if visiting the man at this time is okay. He should definitely call first before showing up and maybe bring something. So he does call and Koushi welcomes him with a happy voice but he could hear the exhaustion too. Takahiro sets a time with Koushi quickly them to meet up today.

At noon, after finishing his lectures for the day, Takahiro goes straight to get some gifts to bring to the Sawamura house hold before heading to the house. When he arrives at the house, he is greeted by Koushi and his new-born. "Welcome, I'm sorry if I don't look my best. This little one have been keeping me and Daichi up at nights." Koushi giggles. Takahiro smiles softly and coos at the baby when Koushi shows him his baby girl who happens to get the charming little mole under her eye like Koushi.  "You look fine. I brought some fruits for you, I wasn't sure what to get for the little one. So I got a soft toy." He holds up the two items. "Oh my, you shouldn't have." Koushi says.

"it's nothing. I really should bring you something with all the things I’m about to dump on you." Takahiro sighs. Their conversation stops for a while when a maid comes to take the fruits from Takahiro. "Come on, let’s go to the living room. Trouble with Issei?" Koushi asks after the maid left.  "Not really trouble. It isn't bad but it isn't good either." Takahiro follows Koushi. They take a seat in the empty living room with Hikari on a baby floor cushion beside Koushi.  "Did you guys fight?" Koushi asks. Takahiro shakes his head and shifts in his seat, "No. It's been going great, he's been really caring and sweet."

 

"So that's the problem." Koushi smiles knowingly. He looks at the older male hopelessly, "It's making me have these weird feelings. And I don’t know if it's the right thing to feel." Koushi hums, “But Taka, what’s so wrong about liking your own husband?” Koushi pauses for a moment before he continues. “Knowing you two and how you got together, of course that feeling of love or care wouldn’t exist right away if you compare it to how people get married when they are already in love. But from experience, love can happen naturally, as time goes by and as you two begin to care for each other.”

“That’s true but how do I know if it’s the right thing? If it’s okay to fall?” Takahiro mutters, eyes stuck on his hands. “Why are you afraid?” Koushi asks softly. “What if he doesn’t love me?” Takahiro lets out a shaky breath. Koushi takes his hands, giving it a little squeeze. “If he doesn’t care nor have he begin to have feelings you as you have for him, he wouldn’t initiate anything. I don’t know the full details of what goes behind closed doors for you two but if he can make you think this hard about him –  about loving him, then I’m pretty sure he’s in the same situation as you. Because if you truly love someone, you would do things you normally wouldn’t, even small things that would make thing better for the other person.”

“You really think so?” Takahiro looks at Koushi. He nods with a firm smile, “Being arranged isn’t something I’ve been through but loving someone that was someone you never thought you would ever love is something I have.” Takahiro raises an eyebrow, “Daichi?” Koushi nods, “Believe it or not. It wasn’t easy. I was just like you afraid to give myself wholly to him but things worked out.” His eyes look lovingly at his daughter. “Take it slowly, but do tell me he’s been warming up to you right?”

“Oh, he’s literally warming me up.” Takahiro mutters. Koushi gives him a smug look which causes Takahiro to blush slightly, “Not that. He knows I hate when it’s cold so he been cuddling me in bed.” It comes out as a whisper. Koushi laughs, “Then, there’s really nothing you have to be worried about.”  

 

The two of them continue talking, Takahiro mostly asking about the baby and parenthood also about work. Koushi is on a break from work until a 2 more weeks before going back to the hospital and a good 2 months before starting his studies, thankfully his in laws are fine with looking after their first grandchild while the pair works and while Koushi attend lectures. Koushi voices his relief that they didn’t make him quit and allowed him to continue working and approved him studying. Takahiro stayed for a few hours and even had lunch their and watched Koushi feed Hikari by bottle before he returned home that evening.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm back, currently on a break from uni so I have some time to write. I just realized how messed up Suga's pregnancy timeline was so messed up- well the whole timeline is messed up but don't worry I'll start making it clear in the next chapter or so! And I'm wondering if this is angsty cause it isn't as angsty as I originally planned. Please do give me a feedback on that and on what you thought of this chapter! As always I appreciate the support and leave a comment! See ya guys in the next chapter~ :D


	8. VII

Even after talking to Koushi, Takahiro doesn’t let himself give in into Issei’s embrace so easily there is always a tug of the hand, yanking of the blankets, voices of protests to Issei’s fingertips sliding on him – skin on skin at times and other times not. But those protests were futile and he knows it and suspects that Issei does to because the second his husband softens his voice, dropping his tone, it managed to coax Takahiro to give in and fall into him. With the existence of the protest, and Issei persuading it allows him to feel relieved and his minds tell him it’s okay to give in because he shouldn’t let Issei keeping whispering to him and to keep on catching him by the waist when he tries to run and it’s definitely not because he wants to be hold or loved by Issei, no.

Throughout the whole week Issei has been busy and coming home later than usual and Takahiro busies himself with his final exams and didn’t have the strength to worry about Issei. But the day his exams finishes, Issei comes home at 2 in the morning to find Takahiro asleep on the lounge chair in their room causing Issei to be washed with guilt. Takahiro waited for him again. He tucks Takahiro into their bed before cleaning himself and going to bed with the tuff of brownish pink hair snug in the crook of his neck and a steady breathing on his bare skin. At least he could make it up to him tomorrow.

For the first time in the last months Takahiro wasn’t woken by alarms blaring and instead it’s Issei who wakes him. “Time to get up.” A gentle shake on his shoulder which follows with him being forcefully sit up in bed. The sun blares – wait, he thinks, why is the sun up already? And why is Issei not at work at this hour? What day is today? Can’t be a weekend. “What time is it?” Looks left and right trying to look for the clock with half opened eyes and franticly crawls to grab Issei’s alarm clock. “8 – come on shower and put on some nice clothes.” Issei calmly says. “Why aren’t you at work? And why didn’t you wake me up earlier?” Takahiro rushes out the bed and goes to the bathroom.

“Don’t worry, Mother won’t be looking for you in the kitchen today, and plus you do know we have a maid to help her with everything right?” Issei shakes his head. The bathroom door opens and Takahiro’s head pops out, “Yeah but isn’t it rude to not help when your mother is always the first person in the kitchen.” He goes back in and Issei hears a rustle of clothing before the shower is turn on and a loud hiss. He leans beside the bathroom door, raising his voice slightly – “She doesn’t expect you to be in the kitchen every day, Taka.” He doesn’t get a reply for a minute before a huff of what sounds like a ‘whatever’ is heard and he leaves it at that before going back to getting ready.

“Why do I have to get dressed in this? You’re not taking me to the office are you?” Takahiro looks at Issei through the mirror while buttoning up his shirt. “Not the office but somewhere else. Are you a fan of Madame Ines?” Issei grabs Takahiro’s coat and helps the male into it then he gets a maroon scarf and wraps it around Takahiro’s neck. “Who isn’t, her works are beautiful.” He adjusts Issei’s collar and quickly retracts his hands when he realises what he was doing, “Why do you ask?”.  Issei chuckles, “We’re going to her gallery in Sendai today.”

“But it’s not opened to public yet, you have to be invi – you were invited huh.” He stops his rambling midsentence when he puts it together. “Yes, she’s a family friend and business partner, she insisted on taking you along. Come on, we’ll have something on the way to the gallery.” Issei opens the bedroom door for him.  The two of them leaves the house not long after that, in the car Issei hands him a brochure of about the gallery and explain a little of what he could possibly encounter since the invitations to the private viewing often includes named personas and the filthy rich. “You’re going to have to get used to me taking you to places with high profile people – I mean I’m sure you’ve been through it before but it’s going to get more frequent.” Issei leans his elbow on the side whilst his eyes linger on Takahiro who’s still having a little trouble registering that they were going to the gallery, he didn’t feel like driving and knowing that wine would most definitely be served, he opts for a chauffeur today. Takahiro places the brochure down on his lap, “No, I haven’t been to events with elites before. My mother doesn’t think I’m well-mannered enough for it. So she takes my siblings instead.”

“So I’m guessing that’s why you’re so low profile, cause’ she doesn’t take you anywhere…” Issei mutters, “Not even when you were a kid?” He questions the fact. “No, because,” He pauses and smiles softly, “That’s a story for a different day.” Issei lets out a sigh, “There’s so much I still don’t know about you.” Takahiro shrugs, “There’s no need to rush, we’ve got time. You have your secrets and I have mine.”

 

They stop by a café for a quick breakfast before heading to the gallery where Takahiro starts shaking out of pure excitement and joy and Issei feels a surge of warmth in him when he sees how overjoyed his husband is at this little surprise but he can’t help to worry a little about what might happen inside. There’s no doubt Takahiro won’t have any problem understanding about the art and enjoying, it’s the people that has Issei worried. “Hey Taka,” Issei reaches for his waist, “Calm down a little. You’re like a kid in a candy store.” Takahiro turns to Issei with the hugest smile on his face, “I am a kid at a candy store right now!” Issei can’t supress his own smile when Takahiro is cute, “Stick close to me alright, don’t get too stunned when people start bombarding you with question. I didn’t tell anyone you were coming except Madame.” Takahiro fixes Issei’s hair at the back of his head, “I’m not a child you know, stop worrying about me. You should worry about yourself, how did you get messy this quickly.” Issei lets his hair be pat down by Takahiro before commenting on his action, “You’re acting like my husband now.”

 

Stop beating so fast damn it. Slow down, please slow down stupid heart. He never thought he would ever tell himself those exact line while his eyes are still glued on Issei and his fingers are still at the tips of Issei’s funky hair. He moves his lips and forces his brain to come up with a snarky remark that usually he could come up in matter of seconds but it’s futile when his brain goes into an overdrive over a simple sentence said by Issei. His brain malfunctions, his voice betrays him and worst of all his heart beats in a pace Takahiro knows he is in deep shit. He doesn’t notice how Issei too is having the same malfunction right there in front of him.  They remain silent, Takahiro avoids eye contact with Issei as he turns away from the male slowly with his cheeks dusted in pink. “We should go in,” Issei softly mutters, placing a hand on his lower back and leads him into the gallery.

“Matsukawa, dashing as ever. Alone?” A local professor that Issei only knows with the title Professor Kobayashi approaches him for casual chat. Issei gives him a polite smile and little bow, “Professor, it’s been some time since I’ve seen you. You don’t look too bad yourself.” The professor chuckles at his statement. “Actually, no. I’ve brought along my husband today.” The professor stares at him with wide eyes and raised eyebrows, genuinely surprise to hear it, “I’ve never thought you’d bring him along from all the rumours in the air.” The professor chuckles. “But I clearly misjudge you Matsukawa, you’re just like your father when he was young. Always ready to slap the rumours away with actions rather than words.” Issei smiles at the comment, he would have continued the conversation with mundane questions if it wasn’t for Takahiro who returns from the bathroom.

“Issei,” He calls out as he trudges to Issei’s side upon seeing his company Takahiro freezes and bows politely to the elder person. “Hanamaki-kun? What are you doing here?” Professor Kobayashi questions when Takahiro joins. “I’m sorry Professor, this is my husband. May I know how are you acquainted with him?” Issei holds a hand out towards Takahiro to which the latter shyly accepts. “My, my I didn’t know one of my student is married.” The professor looks at the pair. Takahiro still has his head down, embarrassed to meet his professor’s eyes, “I’m sorry Professor. It was something my parents decide to not let the university update on my status to my professors until the next semester.” There’s a slight colour in his cheeks and his fingers scratch the back of his head even though it isn’t itching. He looks to Issei for help but is only met with a fond look. “Well, although it’s late I guess I should congratulate you two.” Professor Kobayashi nods. Issei then asks if the professor would like join them but elder man declines and says that he wouldn’t want to bother the love birds causing the both of them to blush, after doing his damage, Professor Kobayashi excuses himself. “That was embarrassing.” Takahiro curl into Issei’s side, his forehead resting on Issei’s shoulder with a soft groan. Issei gives his hand a squeeze and nudges him lightly. Takahiro glances up to his husband, he bites his lips trying to keep the smile to a minimum but of course the corner of his still lifts at that moment. “I guess I should get used to this?”

“This is just the beginning, love.”  

_Love_ , Takahiro decides that he likes being called that. He didn’t mind it.

It was a small crowd that is invited by Madam Ines, besides Professor Kobayashi, Takahiro didn’t know anyone but everyone knows who he is and is shocked to see him. They begin to chat him up, asking his about his views of the art and he guesses that this was the perfect first place for Issei to introduce him to the social grounds that he is usually around. When asked about art, Takahiro doesn’t have any fear but is a little shy with his professor around nonetheless he doesn’t hold back with his thought on the painting, he goes into details about the techniques and the possible meaning into the art after the Madame herself have talked about the piece. People were looking at him with a different look maybe it’s because they think he sound smart but he was just plain fanboy-ing right there and then. Madame Ines did come up to greet the pair personally after the gallery ended, all smiles and happy to meet Takahiro – even pulling him into a hug before taking a whole appearance of him from top to bottom. “You’ve got a beautiful one Monsieur Issei, do take care of him and make him happy.” She gives Issei a playful stern look before a whisper comes out, “Before he ends up as miserable as I am.” Madame Ines looks at the pair then takes Takahiro’s hand and Issei’s hand and place them together in one hold, “I pray for happiness and love in your marriage. Now, you two ought to get going because I have to meet someone, until next time, my dears.”

 

“Did you enjoy it?” Issei asks over lunch, his eyes focus on Takahiro eating slowly. Takahiro nods eagerly, “Very much. Thank you for taking me along.” He looks around the fancy restaurant and then his eyes lands on the dessert display near the front counter. Issei notices it and follows his longing look and sees the dessert display, “Do you want anything from the dessert display? We can get some to go.” Issei snickers. Takahiro looks at him with wide eyes – almost pleading, his fork in between his teeth, “Can we really?” This causes Issei to laugh even more, “Of course we can. The cakes are good here, we can get a few slices if we want.” Takahiro stare at him. “Is the profiteroles good?” This is when Issei discovers the obsession for profiteroles.

 

“I hope today gives you a preview of what it’s like when you come along with me to event. But I’m proud that you were able to calmly talk to all of them.” Issei tells Takahiro just as they were getting ready for bed that night. “But I only imagine that today won’t be nearly as calm as next weekend.” Takahiro shakes his head. “Not nearly but don’t worry, I’ve got you covered. And Tooru will be there too.” Takahiro stretches as looks at Issei who’s at his desk getting some work done. He looks at the man with his thick brow furrowing into a frown, clearly unpleased with something. Fingers typing quickly on the keyboard and eyes moving side to side scanning every detail, and the round glasses that he always wears when doing paper work – he’s work of art if you ask Takahiro. One that would make Takahiro hesitant on trying to capture that beauty because he worries about failing to engrave all that beauty on a piece of paper. “Then I guess I have nothing to worry about.”

 

The week passes by and before he knows it, they were on their way to Tokyo by car. This time Issei has been told to not drive and hence they are both seating in the backseat – Takahiro sleeping due to being up all night painting with his new set of oil paints that he ranted about how expensive they were and how good it felt. Issei doesn’t understand what that meant but he doesn’t stop the boy despite how he doesn’t agree on staying up the night before they were travelling. “Sir, do you wish to stop along the way or do we head straight to the hotel.” His chauffeur asks him as they enter the highway. “For now just straight to the hotel but please do tell me if you need a break. We can stop when needed.” Issei glances at Takahiro who is asleep at his side. His chauffer nods and drives on without any further question, Issei leans his head back and shuts his eyes – he should get some peace and quiet before the hell happens. It would take a little more than 4 hours for them to reach Tokyo, they should be there before noon or around it. It would be the perfect time to take him around Tokyo for lunch and just walk around to be frank. Tokyo would love beautiful with all the decorations for Christmas since it was just days away.  

Takahiro stirs in his sleep and lets out a yawn as he tries to stretch in the car catching the driver’s attention, “Do you need anything sir?” The driver glances at him then back to the road. Takahiro scratches his neck and ponders for a little while – Issei is also asleep beside him, “I would like to go to the bathroom if that’s alright. And you should take a break for a bit, I don’t think he’ll mind.”

“Alright, Sir. We’ll stop at the next rest area we find.” The driver says.

“Thank you,”

 

He wipes his hand with a tissue as he leaves the bathroom, the air is even colder now when it’s near the end of December, he sees the car at the pump with Issei pumping the gas. He notices that behaviour from Issei a lot, he doesn’t let his driver do everything and helps around most of the time and he sees that his driver is thankful about it too. He detours instead of heading back to the car. He buys a cup of cappuccino for the driver, a tall cup of long black for Issei and some sweet hot chocolate for himself.

“I’m back with coffee for both of you!” Takahiro grins as he struts back holding a cup holder. Issei laughs at him, “Get in the car kid.” He does as Issei tells him and hands out the coffee, “Cappuccino for you, Long black for Issei because you’re disgusting like that and hot chocolate for me!” Takahiro chirps. The chauffeur holds back a laughter but says a thank you nonetheless. “Hey, I’m not disgusting for liking long black unlike you and your sweet drinks.” Issei takes a sip of the coffee as they drive away. “Just to be clear, I’m only drinking this because I’ve had enough of caffeine and I’m on a break before the new semester starts and I’ll have to rely on it to function.” Takahiro defends himself. “Whatever you say,” Issei shrugs with a smile plastered on his face. The rest of the journey is filled with chattering between Issei and Takahiro and once in a while the driver interjects. 

 

“You can head to the rest house, we’ll be fine for now. Thank you again.” Issei tells the driver after they arrive at the hotel and their bags were unloaded. It doesn’t take long for them to check in, Issei practically walks to the counter and in a few second later he is handed a hotel card. “Let’s go.” Issei nods to the elevator. They ride up to the 15th floor, it doesn’t take long for Takahiro to know it’s on the suite level when there’s only a small number of rooms on the floor. “You stay here often?” Takahiro tails him to their room. “No, they were expecting us so it made it easy to check in.” Issei opens the door and lets Takahiro in first before entering. “That explains. So are we going to stay in or what?” Takahiro looks around the spacious suite. “No, let’s go walk around Tokyo after the bags are in. Could you check the closet; I think our clothes for the dinner are inside.” Issei glances at him, still standing at the door waiting for the bags. He goes to the closet and of course they are there along with a letter from the clothing store. He plucks it off the garment bag and opens it. Reading as he walks back to Issei, “Yea it’s there. Along with a boring letter.” Issei turns at his and shrugs it, “Just chuck it in the bin. It’s just store protocol.” The bags arrive and is carried in by the bellboy and after not unpacking they both leave the hotel to look for a place for lunch and maybe somewhere to enjoy the rest of the day at.

 

“Are you sure this is necessary?” Takahiro eyes scans the people behind Tooru with a little fear, it’s the day of the dinner and Tooru shows up with what he calls ‘his team’. Tooru nods, “It’s a normal for the people attending this dinner get their makeup and hair ready, heck I dragged Matsun to a spa one year.” Tooru places his hand on his shoulders firmly, “Trust me please. We can skip the makeup if you’re not up for that but at least hair.” Takahiro looks at Tooru in defeat and agrees.

“You should just listen to him; the spa was divine.” Issei sits by the window, not wanting to be involved with whatever is going to happen and decides that a magazine is a worth it pass time activity. Tooru takes an opportunity to justify his actions, “See, even he agrees.” Takahiro puffs his cheeks out, “Fine, do whatever you want just no makeup.”

Takahiro learns three things after 5 hours of spending with Tooru. The first is that never go against Tooru, he will win every verbal argument – it didn’t matter if it’s playful banter or not, Second, when Tooru tells you to go to the spa, you go. It’s divine. Third, he needs to go to the hair salon every month. Takahiro stares at himself in the mirror, doubting his eyes at how he looks. Tooru has a smug expression on his face, “I knew under all that late night eye bags – too much coffee college student was a beautiful boy.” Takahiro laughs it off and looks around the suite looking for Issei. “You’re talking nonsense, is it still too early to get dressed in the clothes?”

“No, you can start dressing up and Tooru, you should also go get ready. Thanks for the help as always.” Issei walks out from a section of the suite, he himself got his hair done along with Takahiro and Tooru. Takahiro sucks at breath when he sees Issei with his curly now tamed into a neat slick back making his face stand out more, and it makes Takahiro wants to walk over to him and traces his skin and remember the curve, fall and rise of his face so that he’d be able to remember it well.

“Look at you, I thought you were going to lay low,” Tooru smirks at Issei. “Laying low doesn’t mean I’m going to look bad. If he’s going to look hot, I have to look as good as he is.” Issei shrugs, to him his all black outfit wouldn’t be as stunning as Takahiro’s and with how the latter is looking right now, he would surely be the centre of attraction.

 

“Are you ready?” Issei asks him when the clock shows it is already 8 o’clock. Takahiro hums in reply and fixes his clothes one last time before heading to Issei. He looks at Issei, “Do I look good?” Takahiro turns away and checks his appearance in the mirror near the front door. “Perfect, let’s go drop some jaws.”. They walk into the ballroom with their arms linking together, Takahiro’s block heel boot making minor noises as he walks on the marble floor, eyes land on the couple just like they want everyone to.  For a little show, Takahiro leans closer into Issei, he’s thankful for all the years he played volleyball for since it’s keeping his body fit. He could feel the lasers on him, “This is intense, Issei.”

“Indeed,” Issei scans the room for someone that he could introduce Takahiro to. “Don’t worry about the people so much, I’m here with you.” Issei leads the way to their table and they take their seats at the table with a few other people. Takahiro visibly see a woman’s jaw drop and hatred feel her eyes.

“Nice to see you again, Saito-san. You look beautiful as always.” Issei address the woman know Takahiro knows as Saito. She forces a stiff smile at them, “Always a pleasure to see you Matsukawa-san. Care to introduce us to your date for tonight?” She looks towards Takahiro. Takahiro gives her his million dollar smile that – in Hajime’s words when they were 18 – could annoy the heck out of people because it’s slightly mocking. “My name is Matsukawa Takahiro, previously Hanamaki Takahiro. Until I married Issei.” He makes it a point to look at Issei when saying it. “You’re a Hanamaki? Why haven’t we heard or seen you before. Your family is a big name.” Saito questions him.

“Well, I don’t find much pleasure in letting everyone know who I am. Such trivial thing to me, popularity and fancy dinners.” Takahiro politely comments. Saito fixes her seating, leaning back into the plush chair – eyes visible glaring at him, “Then, I think you’d find this tonight to be rather horrible.” Takahiro shakes his head, “I’m afraid you’re wrong, Saito-san. This marvellous gala is intriguing.”  

Issei holds back barking out a laughter at the moment when he sees Saito’s face turn sour. He has to admit; Takahiro can handle this. He feels a tad sad for Saito but just a tad, he never really like her snobbish ways. “Evening gentleman, ladies.” The person Issei’s been waiting for has arrive, Tamura takes his seat next to Takahiro and is visibly surprise to see Takahiro. “My, my who is this?  A fresh face.” Tamura smirks and looks at Takahiro longer than what is deem appropriate. Issei wraps an arm around Takahiro’s waist and pulls him close causing Takahiro to whisper ‘stop’ softly and almost flirty with a hand on Issei’s chest but there’s no lying everyone at the table hears him. “This is my husband, Tamura-san.” Issei announces proudly. Takahiro extends a hand towards Tamura, “It’s nice to meet you, Tamura-San.” Tamura shakes his hand, “The pleasure is all mine. I guess the rumours are indeed wrong isn’t it Saito-San?” Takahiro shifts his gaze to the mentioned woman. “What rumours? I’m curious about what people have been talking about me. If you please, Tamura-San, Saito-San, do tell me about them.” Takahiro smirks when he sees the hesitant expression on both of their faces. Truth be told, he already heard the rumours thanks to Tooru, he just wanted to make them nervous.

Halfway through the night Takahiro excuses himself to the bathroom after being handed glasses upon glasses of champagne to toast to. He needs some air from the crowd and it seems like the crowd doesn’t get the message and Issei is trying his best to help Takahiro through it. He hasn’t seen Tooru the whole night that which is a bummer. Walking back into the ballroom his eyes quickly search for Issei and it’s not hard to spot him nor the worry etch on his face. Issei extends arm toward him and he decides that he doesn’t want to hold Issei’s hand instead Takahiro goes straight into Issei’s arms, resting his hand on Issei’s chest and he smile at the company.

“Are you okay?” Issei whispers in his ear as they walk back to their seat after mingling around. Takahiro shakes his head that prompts his husband to pull him flush against him with a protective manner, “Too much alcohol and people.” Issei hums softly, “You should sit down for a while. People have been approaching you a lot plus I have to see someone. You don’t have to follow me this time. Tooru is at our table for you.”  Arriving at the table again, Takahiro is glad to finally see Tooru. “Well, I have to go see Watanabe. Stay here okay.” Issei tells him again. “Don’t worry too much, I’ll be fine.” Takahiro pats Issei’s cheek. Throughout the night they’ve been touching each other a lot, but nothing too drastic but enough to make believe that they were in a great relationship and not a newly developing couple. “Alright, alright. Can I have a kiss?” Issei chuckles. Takahiro’s eyes go wide and he blushes a little. “Of course.” Issei leans down to peck his on the lips for a short moment and truth be told, he wants more. Tooru gives Issei a look when he leaves the table, and he sees it. The dazed look in Takahiro’s eyes.

He wants to ask Issei, why did he kiss him. Was it for the show or was it genuine? Did he really want to kiss Takahiro? The thought clouds his mind for the rest of the night and Tooru seems to notice but doesn’t comment on it. The moment Issei returns, he finds his heart beating and he couldn’t look at his own husband in the eyes. 

The couple returns to their room later that night, exhausted with expensive alcohol in their bloodstream. Issei sense something is up when Takahiro is too quiet even for an exhausted Takahiro. And he’s been pulling his hand away when Issei tries to hold his hand. As soon as the door closes behind him, Issei grabs his husband’s arm firmly but not enough to hurt him, clearly surprise at the action Takahiro whips his head to Issei’s direction. “Let go.”

“What’s wrong?” Issei asks softly. “You’ve been awfully quiet. Is something wrong?” He eventually lets got of Takahiro.  Takahiro backs away until his back hits the wall, without meeting Issei’s face, “Why did you kiss me?” His shoulders curls in as he hugs his body, “Was it just for show?”

There is a silence after that, he knew it. He was the only one who wanted that kiss to be real and it was nothing but just a show for Issei in the end. “I kissed you because I wanted to kiss you.” Issei lifts his face. “I just really wanted to kiss you if you allowed me, it wasn’t for the people. It was for me. Did you not like it?”

He turns his face to the side, “No, I hated it.” He whispers. Issei froze in place and slowly creates a distance between him and Takahiro. “I’m sorry for making you feel uncomfortable then. I won’t do it in the future.” Issei begins to walk to the bedroom, his shoulder a little slump and frustration written in his face.  “I’m not finished talking Issei.” Takahiro follows and stop his husband, he turns Issei to his direction, “I would’ve been better if you didn’t kiss me. Because that peck was so cowardly. Kiss me like you mean it next time.” Takahiro whispers.

“What?” 

“Like this idiot.”

Takahiro pulls him in for a kiss, a soft sigh escapes his lips when Issei finally kisses him back after a short moment of being in shock. He wraps his arm around Issei’s neck while Issei rests his hands on Takahiro’s lower back. Takahiro doesn’t shy away when Issei probes into his mouth and allows it to happen.

The couple were panting softly when they pull away from each other but they don’t move away from each other’s hold and instead they stay like that for a moment. “Does this mean something?” Issei runs a thumb over his husband’s bruised bottom lip. “Yes,” It’s a whisper. “It means something.”

“Come on, we need to go to bed. Early morning tomorrow.”

“Alright.”

Around midnight Issei finally feels the plush mattress on his back and sleep is already coming to him. A content and happy feeling surge in his whole body, he hasn’t feel this way in such a long time. That’s when the thought comes to him. "Taka," Issei turns to look at his husband, "If you're up for it. I think it's time you know about Mio." He knows Takahiro hasn’t fallen asleep yet and it’s confirm when Takahiro turns facing him. "Mio? Is she why you come here every Sunday?" Takahiro asks.

"Yes," is all Issei answers although he knows he should quickly clear the air about who Mio is and why is she so important to him so that there's no misunderstanding between them not when he and Takahiro have begun to have something between them. It's visible that Takahiro isn't ready for it by the way his eyes hold fear in them and at the little distance between that exists after Issei mentions Mio. Takahiro nods, "Alright. Tell me about her. Good night Issei." The tone is cold and he turns his back towards Issei. He shuts his eyes tight and hugs his own body. He doesn't want to find out the truth about that female and in the end lose Issei when he ready to accept his feelings towards Issei. He hears Issei shuffles and then feels those arms he didn't want lose around his waist and a kiss at the side of his head. "Good night Taka."

Even if it isn’t for much longer, let him savour this happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who have about two weeks left of semester break ˚‧º·(˚ ˃̣̣̥⌓˂̣̣̥ )‧º·˚ This chapter got longer than usual but oh welps! Enjoy~ Comment~ ♥♥♥ Have a great day, weekend, month, year and life!


	9. IX

“He’s on his way, Tokyo has traffic on some days.” Issei rocks to the front and back in place as they wait outside the hotel for their car. “You okay? It’s freezing today.” He asks his husband who’s wrapped up in his coat. “This is beyond freezing.” Takahiro says through grit teeth, trying to not shiver. “Come,” Issei opens up his jacket and waddles to pulls Takahiro into him, before covering the jacket over Takahiro’s back. He snuggles into Issei’s hold and enjoys the warmth. “Perfect.”

  
“It’s finally Christmas. The year is ending.” Takahiro whispers. He could feel Issei’s chest moving up and down as he breathes. “I can’t believe it too. You know we got married at the end of May, it’s been 7 months.” Issei chuckles. “It didn’t feel like it’s been 7 months. We still barely know each other.” Takahiro looks up at Issei. “Like you said, we can take our time plus there’s things I still have to tell you about. And things I wonder about you.” Issei shrugs. “I’ll tell you about my Tokyo.” Takahiro grins. “Your Tokyo?” Issei raises his eyebrow. “You’re not the only one with a story in Tokyo. I’ll tell you after yours.”

  
Their car arrives not long after that and they straight away head for Sendai. For a moment, silence sets in the car with both Issei and Takahiro lost in their own thought, Issei is worried about how Takahiro would react. He’s placing a huge risk on what little bond they have in their marriage and he hopes that Takahiro would be okay. He glances over to Takahiro and slowly reaches for his hand. He locks their fingers together like it’s the most natural thing to do and Takahiro doesn’t pull away. The highway in contrast of the roads in the city is deserted and it makes it faster for them to reach home without them even realising that time have passed.

  
“Issei, about Mio.” Takahiro tugs on Issei’s hand to get his attention. “Hold on.” Issei stops him and raises the partition. “About Mio, I’ll tell you when Mother and Father isn’t around. They’re visiting a friend on New Year morning. We’ll have a proper talk then.” Issei turns to face him. Takahiro nods silently, it means a few more days of waiting until he knows the truth. “Taka, I don’t want you to think about it too much.” He squeezes his husbands hand trying to reassure him. “Just have an open heart about her. I beg you.” Despite Issei reassuring him and practically begging him, Takahiro still have uncertainty in him but for Issei his nods quickly and gives him a small smile. He could see how important Mio is to Issei.

 

That night they had a simple Christmas dinner at Issei’s auntie’s house, they both of them still tired from the journey but skipping is not a choice and so, there they were at the large family house with warm drinks having small talks and Takahiro again being shot with a lot of questions. And of course the question about a child comes up. “So when are you two having children?” Issei’s auntie nonchalantly asks. Takahiro looks at the woman with his eyes wide and a little blush on his face. “Not soon, I guess.” He answers unsurely. “Takahiro is still in school; we think it’s best we wait until he graduates first before thinking about having children.” Issei explains and he nods along to what Issei says. The topic of children never came up between them but what Issei said is ideal. “That’s too bad, I was looking forward to good news coming from you two.” The older woman pouts playfully. “If there is good news to be shared, I’ll be sure to tell you.” Takahiro politely.

  
Hours pass by in a blink of an eye, Issei busy catching up with his cousins and Takahiro gets to meet and know his cousins and their partners. They are kind enough to not pry into their life as a couple too much. Maybe they know better not too but today there was no show to put on, everything is real. The way Issei steals back hugs and shy touches at times, it’s all real and Takahiro is beyond happy despite being exhausted at the same time. It’s getting late but it seems like no one plan to leave, Takahiro looks at Issei who’s trying hard to not fall asleep on the couch in the living room. The house is still lively with laughter and chatter. Takahiro excuses himself from what they call the ‘Wives’ club’ – which is just essentially just the partners of the sons and daughters in the house hold – and walks over to Issei. He places a hand Issei’s hand, “Hey, you okay?” Takahiro sits down next to Issei. Issei hums and shakes his head while chuckling, “I might just fall asleep anytime now.” Issei takes his hand and intertwine their fingers together. Takahiro leans closer to Issei, “No one seems like they want to leave though. Would it be rude if we left first?” He places his head on the top of the couch while still looking at his husband. Issei shrugs, “Don’t know, no one ever leaves early. Usually they just sleep on the damn couch. It’s a good couch.” Issei mutters clearly it’s the sleep talking. Takahiro giggles, “There, there. It’ll be over soon. And guess who is a proud new member of the Wives’ club.” He lets go of Issei’s hand and makes Issei lay his head on his shoulder. “Mm… My husband is in the wives’ club, damn.” Issei snuggles. “Indeed he is. Why are you even alone? I couldn’t get away from people.” Takahiro wonders. “Because they are sick of Issei, they like the new guy better.” Issei huffs. “Cause clearly the new guy is cuter than Issei.” Takahiro jokes. “I heard that’s the reason.” Issei chuckles. “Oh look at the newly wed. It’s unbelievable how they aren’t pregnant yet. Look at that.” One of Issei’s cousin barks. One of the son in laws joins along with a cheer. “Shut up!” Issei groans. “You say it like you guys weren’t like this when you guys got married!” Takahiro could only laugh at what was happening, he likes it, this warm atmosphere in the house.

 

“I wish I was with you, Iwa-chan.” Tooru pouts at his bedroom’s ceiling. He could hear his boyfriend laughing through the phone. “Well, we can meet up soon enough. I’m sorry though, my mom really wanted me home this year.” He can hear the shuffle of sheets. “It’s okay. Maybe one day we can meet in Sendai?” Tooru suggests. “That sounds great, maybe then we can tell our friends that we’re dating. I feel bad for not telling them.” Hajime ruffles his hair around. It’s pass midnight and the whole house is asleep except him, it is the only time he could call Tooru who’s in Tokyo stuck with responsibilities while he’s home for a break and seeing how he’s surrounded with family, he really didn’t want them to know about Tooru yet but they could tell that he is seeing someone. “Hey, I know it’s still months away but you have a break in summer right, Iwa-chan?” Tooru turns to lay on his stomach as he pries into a question that he’s been dying to ask. “A whole 40 days or so. You want to meet up?”

  
Tooru grabs a pillow to hug, “If you don’t mind, do you want to go to the Matsuri in Sendai with me?” He said lowly. A sweet laugh comes through from the other side of the phone, “Matsuri? Why so sudden?” Hajime laughs even more when his boyfriend makes what the said person calls whale noises because he knows that he’s about to say something mildly embarrassing to admit or just plain cute. “I want to see Iwa-chan in a yukata. I swear you better not laugh at me! I’m older than you.” And he is only met with silence, Tooru feels heat coming up to his face when the silence goes on for too long. “You better not be laugh. I know it’s idiotic.” In contrast, Hajime wasn’t laugh instead he’s covering his face with a pillow, a huge grin on his face. He brings the phone back to his ears. “Tooru, you’re so cute.” He moves the pillow away and waits for his boyfriend to reply to him. “Tooru?”

  
“Shut up Hajime. I’m going to bed now.” Tooru mutters. “Hey, don’t sulk. It’s not my fault I find my boyfriend is cute. Even if he’s older than me.” Hajime sits up and looks at the clock – it’s almost one in the morning. “You’re a tease. But really I have to go to bed now. Good night, Iwa-Chan. Love you!” Tooru wishes him good night. “Good night babe. Love you too. I’ll see you in Tokyo soon.” Hajime gets up from his bed and turns the lights off.

 

“Morning, you’re up earlier than I thought you would be.” A sweet smile from his mother greets him in the morning. When he’s home his mother always looks happy and he knows she just likes her children to be close to home but he really just had to choose a university in Tokyo. “Good morning, mom.” Hajime kisses her on the cheek, to him it’s very normal to do that. Some of his friends were shocked because he still kisses his mother but it’s the least he could do for her since he isn’t as cuddly as his younger sister – a kiss wouldn’t hurt. “Sit down, I’ll get your breakfast ready.” She quickly gets up from her seat – ready to make her son a meal. “You don’t have to make me anything, mom, I can do it myself.” Hajime follows her to the kitchen. “No, you’re barely home these days. I want to make it for you. Now sit down.” She gives him a stern look. “Alright, let me just make coffee. Do you want tea?” Hajime takes his mug and takes his mother’s tea cup. “Sure why not.” She nods as she takes stuff out of the fridge. Even though she doesn’t ask him, he takes it upon himself to heat up the soup himself. “Sit down. I won’t repeat myself again Hajime.” She warns him again. “Yes, ma’am.”

  
The whole meal lays in front of him, she even made his favourite agedashi tofu, a simple miso soup, eggs and a simple salad. “I forgot you made sure we ate properly. Thank you for the meal.” Hajime picks up his chopsticks and starts eating. His mother stares at him while he eats with a happy look on her face, he chuckles. “Why are you staring? It’s nice to eat your food again. Everything is delicious.” Hajime compliments her. “I just glad you’re home. You’ve lost some weight, are you eating right?” She asks with concern. “Well, I’m eating isn’t that important?” Hajime smiles sheepishly. “Eat properly, you need energy with all that studying and work.” She sighs. “Don’t worry too much.” Hajime mutters. She nods, “But it’s a mother’s nature to worry about her child.” She looks down to her tea cup. “I know but don’t worry too much. I’ll call you more often.” Hajime finishes the last piece of tofu.

  
Hajime finishes his meal soon enough and cleans all the dishes while his mother sits at the dining table watching him. “Hajime, can we talk about something?” She pats the table lightly. Hajime dries his hands and sits at the table again, “What’s wrong?” “This person you’re seeing, how long have it been?” She asks. Hajime scratches his head, “A few months.” She hums, “Will I get to meet them?” She questions with a mischievous look. “Maybe, when he’s in Sendai too and when we’re both ready. He’s very busy too so I’m not too sure when this will happen.” Hajime shrugs. She holds his hand, “Make sure you introduce him to me. I can’t wait to meet him.” Hajime caresses his mother’s hand, “I haven’t told you much about him but you’re already so excited?” She nods, “I’m always excited to meet people who make my son happy.”

 

The same morning Tooru walks into the empty gym, he’s usually one of the early ones since he lives nearer to the training gym than most of his teammates. Ushijima is already there when he arrives – it’s a little weird that now they are teammates due to their rivalry in high school and the feud if you could really call it that but they weren’t the best of acquaintance. He hated Ushijima’s guts but after being forced to be in the same team they worked things out.

  
“You’re here early. Thought you’d be later since Tendou was with you.” Tooru sits beside Ushijima on the bench and takes out his knee brace. “Cute photos, never thought you’d be a romantic lover.” Tooru teases about photos he seen on Tendou’s social media of them last night. “It’s to make up for not always being able to take him out on dinners as much as I would like to.” Ushijima explains in his usual stern voice. “Tendou deserves that much for being so patient with me.” He says it quietly. Tooru chuckles, “You know it’s sweet of you to do that for him, maybe that’s why he stays. I’m jealous of you two.” Tooru stretches his arms above his head. “But shouldn’t you be there at least when he wakes up?” Tooru leans back and playfully punch Ushijima’s shoulder “Pretty sure you got laid last night. Did you?” Ushijima rubs his nose and looks away, “Yes. But he knows I’ve got practice today and I left a note to inform him about me leaving early for practice.” Tooru barks out a laugh, “Lucky bastard.” Ushijima glances at Tooru, “What about you? Why weren’t you with your new lover? I’ve seen him a few times but you’ve never properly introduced him to any of us.”

  
“You noticed him?” Tooru pushes his bangs out of his eyes. “I’ll introduce him soon enough, he’s back home for Christmas. I was alone with no one to celebrate with.” Tooru shrugs. “You’re lying; you went to Kuroo’s party.” Ushijima frowns. “Indeed I went, but I would’ve skip the party if it meant I could be with him or at least go home but this is life.” Ushijima nods at his words, “Yea, but isn’t this what we dreamed of? Playing for the country, to be the best.”  
“Indeed it is.”

 

It’s the first of January, the house is quiet and it’s only Issei and Takahiro at home. Issei is in the tatami room waiting for him, Issei’s parents left for a visit to one of their closes friend’s house leaving the couple alone in the house. Takahiro pours hot water into 2 tea cups and makes tea for Issei and himself. It’s the day he finds out who Mio really is. He’s scared deep inside but getting the truth about who she is, is a form of Issei opening up to Takahiro even more. It’s something important and personal to Issei. He brings the tea into the tatami room, Issei glancing at him as he steps into the room and until he is seated in front of Issei. “Please tell me now.” Takahiro says without meeting eyes with Issei.

  
“Well, this is going to be long. It started when I was 18. I was in a long time relationship with a girl from my school. We were thinking of staying together until marriage. We were almost there you could say that. We were still a couple by the time we were 21.” Issei speaks while looking outside. “Is she Mio?” Takahiro asks. Issei shakes his head, “She isn’t Mio. Her name is Nakamura Saho. Don’t worry I don’t have a mistress or any shit like that. It’s only you.” Issei confesses. Takahiro ignores the confession and tells Issei to go on.

  
“So when we were 21, I was told I’d be taking over from dad soon enough and at the same time Saho told me she was pregnant. Pregnant with my child.” Issei still isn’t looking at him. “We suffered a lot while trying to make things work for us. My parents were beyond angry at me, I think we don’t have to mention the anger from her parents over me getting her pregnant but the very least they were much more understanding then my parents were. Mother didn’t like Saho. We didn’t know why but then I learned it because I was already promised to someone. Saho was told to have an abortion but she said that she was going to keep the baby. I agreed with it because I was ready to marry her at the time, there was nothing more that I wanted. A little naïve of me to think I could have a happy family that easily.” Issei pauses and lets out a heavy sigh. “Things didn’t work out, we kept fighting and my mother did everything she could to tear us apart. She succeeded in that as you can tell now. But she still kept the baby, I paid for the child’s expenses. Still do. I get to visit my daughter every Sunday. My four-year-old daughter that lives in Tokyo, Saho named her Mio.” Issei looks down.

  
“Your daughter?” Takahiro swallows, his brain still trying to process everything that Issei has mentioned about Saho and Mio. But he couldn’t lie that there is a part of his that is slightly relieved that Mio isn’t who Takahiro feared her to be. Instead of a beautiful young woman that stole Issei’s heart, she turns out to be Issei’s own blood even though she is a child of out of wedlock. His mother tore him and Saho apart – “Your mother, is that why you are not on good terms with her? Because of what she did?” He asks without looking at Issei. “Y…Yeah and of what she said to when I was still begging her to let me marry Saho.” He looks empty, his eyes bore through the window, his tongue comes to lick his lips before he bites in just a little too hard. Takahiro isn’t dumb he could see through this hard façade Issei puts up in front of him. There weren’t much things that he could relate with Issei but this might be one of them, the feel of need to put up a hard front in front of others so ever often so that no one will know how much you’re breaking down deep inside that sometimes the thought of ripping out one’s own heart might be the only way to subdued the pain that courses in them, other times it’s just the weight of expectation place upon them as children of named families, the pressure to be a perfect version of them but they were only young children that still had and even now as adults, have to learn how to be human. But when put together it takes a toll on the mental. And Takahiro figures that’s what happened to Issei and a part of him understands the anger he feels towards his mother.

  
Issei turn to look at him for the first time after telling Takahiro the whole truth. Takahiro stares back for a moment, there’s a lot going through his mind. A mixture of emotions – relief, sadness, fear and insecurity. If he was feeling that he couldn’t image what Issei is feeling right this second. However, Takahiro prepared himself for the worst scenario and as they say love makes your views hazed with love, he reaches over to hold Issei’s hand. A gentle squeeze and a comforting stroke, it is better than words he could say to Issei. It’s okay, I understand you. I accept your past; your past doesn’t change what I am feeling towards you.

 

High school were the years that he treasures deeply. It was the time where he could just breath, he didn’t have to worry about image or about messing up and he could be what he is – a teenager. He could do stupid things and laugh, fall in love with a girl from his year and continue to love her years on and was dead on serious with making her his wife. Have a best friend that he could count on despite how annoying he could be at times but Tooru means well. Saho and Tooru are a big part of those fond memories. Even though things went south between him and Saho, there’s a one thing he knows for sure. There was no regret. None, not even with choosing to end things, it was for their best interest and for their unborn child at the time. He remembers how everything unfolded and there was so much hopelessness in his whole being at the time that he couldn’t do anything.  
“I’m pregnant, Issei.” Saho was shaking badly when he told her, he stood there in front of her speechless. It’s not that he didn’t want this to happen but perhaps in a better circumstances and this was apparent to both of them. “I checked a few times and they all came out positive. What are we going to do Issei?” Saho held his arm and shook it. “We can’t have this baby yet – i... it’s not that I don’t want this.” Saho choked up on her words. “It’s not the right time. I know, Saho.” Her fears as just like his. Issei sat down on the wooden chair at the park, Saho paced back and forth in front of him, her hands in her hair. Panic and fear enveloped her so tightly, “Saho, calm down. We can get through this together.” Issei reached for her and stopped her. “Why are you so sure? Your mother hates me, and now I’m pregnant with your child I don’t think she’ll like me even better. Then there’s my parents. How do I tell them?” Saho cried. That was the start of Issei being hopeless.

  
The coming week came with a lot of scolding and yelling. There was so much anger in their lives in that period of time so much so Issei wished it never happened. It wasn’t just the anger from their parents but Issei grew angry with his mother and how she treated Saho. He fought back to protect Saho, they had their fights in the house and it is not something Issei if very proud of. He is sorry for breaking his own mothers heart but he wouldn’t stand such hatred for someone that never hurt their family. The fight stopped after a couple of months and the cold shoulder began because no matter how much Issei begged for his mother and father to allow him and Saho to get married, she would start a fight and all peaceful talks are out the window.

  
“Matsukawa Issei!” His mother shouted, her chest heaving up and down. “If you don’t end thing with that wrenched girl, I will make sure that she will never see the light of day. And I will, you better believe my words young man, I will ensure she and her family won’t be able to feed themselves.” Those were the most venomous words he had ever heard uttered by his own mother. The same person who sang him to sleep and read to him as a child, a mother that only encouraged him to be the best he could be and to be kind was the same woman that is threatening to destroy someone’s life and their family. It disgusted him so much. “Are you even my mother anymore?” Issei said unconsciously. A frown appeared on his mother’s face, “What nonsense are even spouting now?” Issei backed away from his mother, “My mother wouldn’t say something so disgusting. You’re not my mother.” “Issei!” She slapped him, it was painful and after all the shit he’s been going through it felt nice to feel pain. Because he knows then that he is after all a human.  
Issei stopped trying and at that time things with Saho went downhill, they fought and fought. Before Saho decided that it’s best that they end things here because nothing is going to change and it’s a waste of time.

  
“Issei, lets end things. Let’s be real, your mother isn’t going to accept me and this child.” Saho placed her hand on her growing stomach. Issei sighs heavily, he knows it’s true. “And I don’t think it’ll be good if we keep on going on like this. But what about this child?” Issei crouched down in front of Saho and timidly placed his own hand on her belly. “I won’t give this child up; she didn’t do anything wrong. I’ll keep her, I’ll let you see her. I promise you that.” Saho whispered and smiled a little when Issei caressed her belly. “She? You think it’s a girl?” Issei felt tears burning in his eyes. “I couldn’t ask for anything more then to be able to meet her. I’ll pay for your expenses. Until she becomes an adult. She is my child. Whatever happens between us, can we agree that she will still be our shared responsibility?” Issei looked at Saho. Saho had her very own tears, “A hunch is all. You’re a good man Issei, things may not be in our favour that’s all. I still love you but maybe not as much as I used to. This child is forever ours. No…No matter in the future if someone else comes into our lives, this child will always be ours.” Saho silently wept. “Thank you Saho. I’m sorry I couldn’t give you a proper family.” Issei cried too. This was their goodbye, there was still traces of love in them but it was much sooner then they both expected it to come.

 

“Issei?” Takahiro calls his husband’s name softly when he realizes that he is lost in his thoughts. “Huh?” Issei turns to him with wide eyes. “Sorry, what were you saying?” Takahiro smiles softly, “Are you alright?” Issei stares at him for a second longer than he usually does, “Takahiro, come here.” He lets go of Takahiro’s hand and open up his arm. “What?” Takahiro is stun by Issei’s sudden request. “Come here. Please.” He repeats. Takahiro obliges and gets up to Issei when then he is pull into Issei’s arms and lap. Issei without a word just hugs him tight. He returns the hug by wrapping his arm around Issei’s shoulder and placing his face on the side of Issei’s head.  
“Just stay here like this.” Issei mutters. “Just for a little longer than usual.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's only the first week of classes. I'm exhausted and tired of people's shit. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter~ Leave a comment as I'll see ya guys in the next chapter!!


	10. X

Takahiro pulls away after a significant time passes by, he holds Issei’s face and lifts it up so they would be looking at each other. He kisses Issei’s forehead softly. “Thank you for opening up to me.” He whispers. “It must have been hard for you and her. I’m sorry that you have to go through that.” He adds. He feels his shirt bunching where Issei is holding him, Issei is visibly holding back his true emotions but Takahiro won’t be pushing. “There’s one more thing I have to show you.” There’s a hesitant look on Issei’s face. Issei leads him to their bedroom and then searches his file for whatever it is that he wants to show Takahiro. Takahiro takes the thick paper that Issei eventually hands to him and reads it carefully and takes his time at every pages.

He neatly places the paper back on the desk Issei is now sitting on with an anxious look on his face. He looks at Issei with a sheepish smile, “You prepared divorce papers because you thought I would want to separate from you after finding out you have a child out of wedlock?” Issei nods, “Yea but I got these paper pretty early in our marriage. I barely knew you and I guess I was being prepared for the worst.” Takahiro hums softly, “Let’s just keep it away. I won’t be signing it.” Issei’s eyes becomes a replica of a deer when he says it, “You won’t?” He questions it. “I have a daughter, Takahiro. If one day, people were to find out, you would be in a hard time.” Issei explains. “Maybe people care about this child not being mine but why does it matter? A child out of wedlock is still a child who deserves to be loved just like any other child in this world.” He shrugs. “Maybe my mom would be furious if she were to ever find out but me? I say there’s no need for a needless separation.” 

“The one who is married to you is me. Not my mother or outside people.” Takahiro says silently. “I think it’s about time we chose what we want to do.” He stands face to face with Issei and pulls the man up to his feet before sliding his hands up to wrap around his neck. “I don’t see myself letting go of what we have as little as it is.” Takahiro whispers before leaning into to kiss Issei.

 

The first week of January passes by rather quickly with Issei and Takahiro being busy with their lives both apart and together. Issei plans to start taking Takahiro out on dates on days they are free and Takahiro can’t find a reason to say no to the idea. “How about Tokyo? What if I took you to meet Mio?” Issei massages Takahiro’s paint stained palm. “Isn’t this too sudden? For her and me?” Takahiro looks at Issei. “Maybe but I really want you two to meet and hopefully get along. I really want that. I can talk to Saho about this.”  Issei suggests eagerly.

Takahiro chuckles and places a hand on Issei’s cheek, “I know you are eager but calm down. Yes, talk to her first and see how she thinks about this. It’s going to be too sudden for Mio if you brought me to meet her.” He pulls the hand away slowly, he hesitates to say what is hanging from his tongue and he decides not to when Issei’s face have so much hope on it. Takahiro just smiles sweetly and conceal the fear that may come from meeting his daughter brings upon.

“Now, I got to go back to finishing the painting. Can’t wait for spring break.” Takahiro grumbles as he walks away from Issei and back to his easel.

Issei lets him go to continue his work while he sits back, a smile on his face as he quickly pulls out his phone to text Saho about this little plan of his. He feels like they are finally getting somewhere and if Takahiro and Mio would be on good term- it would be all he could ask for. He doesn’t really worry about Saho not being fond of Takahiro, he knows Saho too well. She isn’t the type to hate someone at first glance – cautious, yes but never quick to label. Maybe that’s placing a lot of trust into Saho since it would be the very first time one of them is bringing a new partner into their lives and wanting them to be involve with their child.

He gets a reply from Saho that night.

_“Are you sure? Does he know the full story? I don’t have anything against your spouse but are you sure Mio is ready to meet him?”_

_“Yes, I told him everything. It’s your decision, if you think Mio is ready to meet him then I’ll bring him along. Only if you agree to this.”_

_“I’ll get back to you in a couple of days Issei.”_

Issei types out a short reply when Takahiro comes out of the bathroom, more than ready to crash for the day after spending the whole of it with painting. His hands were still stained with oil paint, it’s something Issei thinks looks fitting with him, like he was meant to have his hand stained with paint, he was meant to be a free spirit but in reality is stuck in the clutches of a named family with a high profile.

“Don’t tell me that’s work.” He mutters as he gets under the covers.

“No, it’s Saho. She said she’ll get back in a couple of days.” Issei puts his phone down on the bedside table.

“Oh,” Takahiro says softly. “That’s good.” Issei is hoping so much and it scares him to the core if things were to go wrong.

 

That Sunday Takahiro finds himself in a nerve wrecking situation when he knows he’s on the way to Tokyo with Issei heading to the mother of Issei’s child’s house. He would have to meet her. And he prays to all the gods that everything goes well.

 

“Mio,” Issei crouches down in front of Mio, “Daddy wants you to meet someone. He’s special to me so I hope you can be nice to him.” Issei talks sweetly to his daughter. Saho watches from the side, at times she glances to Takahiro wary and unsure of what’s to make of all this. Takahiro can’t really focus with his heart beating in his ears and his palms are becoming sweaty and he keeps wiping in on his jeans ever so subtly.

“Say hello to Takahiro.” The next thing he knows is Issei holding out his hands towards him and he slowly steps closer and manages to smile at her.

Crouching down to her level, he holds out his hand towards her, “Hi, Mio. It’s nice to finally meet you.”

The young girl looks at him with uncertainty and even looks back to her mother looking for approval, Saho who mutters it’s okay and nods. But this doesn’t seem to help the internal turmoil a young girl is having because slowly an angry expression appears on her face before she hits and shouts at Takahiro. “Stay away from daddy!”

“Hey, Mio!” Saho calls out and reaches out to stop her daughter. She pulls Mio back and away from Takahiro, shock fills her eyes. But it doesn’t stop the toddler from trashing around and crying out. Issei’s beside Takahiro stunned at the behaviour his own daughter shows but he checks on Takahiro. “Are you okay?”

Takahiro is frozen in place, Issei’s words just float over his head and all he could register is the cries and shout of the girl along with Saho trying to calm her down. Issei then quickly steps in and takes her from Saho – carrying her in her arms while whispering something to her. “No! He’s going to take daddy away from me!”

“Hate him!”

“Mio.”

“Mio stop this.”

More cries and shouting comes from the girl and her parents are trying their best to calm her down. Takahiro stands up and clears his throat, “Hey, Issei. I’ll just go for now. Mio isn’t going to calm down with me being here.”

“But Taka –” Issei is stop with a hand to his shoulder and a practiced smile from Takahiro. “No, you have a fun day with Mio. I’ll meet you back later. Excuse me, Saho-san.” Takahiro says before taking his leave.

“Taka…” Issei sighs.

Issei looks at the closed door with Mio in his arms clutching him tightly. Maybe he did hope for too much.

 

He takes the train to another part of town – a part where he is very well versed with despite not coming there for a long time. He stops by a flower shop and gets two bouquets and continues on his way up to a residential area and a hill that leads to a cemetery. He walks passes a number of graves before he stops in between two graves. He places the flowers down on the graves, one bouquet for each grave. He pays his respects and cleans the snow around the graves. Hugging his knees and just looking at the graves he lets out a shaky breath. He wipes the tears that leaks for the corner of his eyes. “Grandma, was I hoping too much? I really thought that she would like me but I guess that was proven wrong.” Of course he doesn’t get a reply but he keeps on asking. “What should I do? I really want to make him happy and it’s clear to me that his daughter is very important to him. What if she won’t ever like me?”

“What do I do then? I don’t want to leave.” Takahiro bites his lips. “I really don’t want to leave. I’m happy with him.”

The strong breeze blows and Takahiro chuckles dumbfounded at himself. He knows he’s being stupid asking questions to a grave, he’ll never get the answers he needs or wants to hear but he just didn’t want to leave or go anywhere at that time. His grandparents left him a long time ago, 2 years after he moved back to Sendai his grandfather passed away from old age but his grandmother went sooner than anyone thought she would. It wasn’t long after Takahiro moved back, she passed away and it just breaks him that he couldn’t be there during her last hours.

She was the person who stopped all the dark thoughts in his head. And the night it got so bad that while he laid his head on her lap he questioned the purpose of his existence.

_“Maybe I’d be better off gone from this world.” Takahiro remembered whispering that._

_“No, my dear.” Her aged hand runs along the side of his face softly. “You’d make me sad if you did that. I’d miss you so badly if you left me.”_

_“I think you’d be the only one.”_

_“I think you’re wrong.” She chuckled. “I like to believe that in this world there are people we are meant to meet and one little thing can change massive things.”_

_“Imagine someone sitting in their room or anywhere they would usually be and feel so empty because you aren’t there.”_

_“That’s impossible, grandma.”_

_“No, dear, it is not.”_

He didn’t believe her words at first because it sounds so cliché- like it belongs to a romantic comedy movie and not real life. Because at that point his life has only been bitter, even now he knows what she described to him was something special. A one in a million chance to feel and he is one of the lucky ones that gets to feel that. It’s something rare but it’s there the aching of missing someone you never met.

 

Hajime is pull away from his conversation with Tooru when his phone rings, he glances at the caller ID and reaches for his phone. “It’s Takahiro.” Tooru nods and motions for him to pick up the call before muttering about getting more Mikan for them. Hajime picks up the call, “Hello.”

“Hey,” He hears his friend’s voice. “It know it’s sudden but I’m in Tokyo right now. Was wandering if you’re free.”

“Umm…” He looks at Tooru who’s getting another bowl of fruits Hajime’s mother brought for the both of them. “I’m with company at the moment. But maybe we can meet up in a bit?” Hajime frowns –Takahiro isn’t the type of person that just shows up somewhere without prior notice so this is very out of the ordinary. Something isn’t right.

“Nah, it’s okay. You’ve already made plans with someone and I can’t just barge in. That isn’t nice.” Takahiro laughs if off. “Well, enjoy your day, Hajime.”

“Wait –Taka,” Hajime says quickly before the line was ended. “Why – Why are you in Tokyo?” Tooru join him in the living room again but this time with slower steps and eyes trained on Hajime, his face shows that his concerned about what was happening. He makes eye contact with Tooru as he repeats what Takahiro tells him. “You followed Issei to Tokyo?”

Tooru’s eyes becomes big like a saucer – he knows.

“Taka, where are you?” Hajime asks again. His face grows dark when he the call ends. Hajime leans back against the sofa and rubs his temple. “I know he is your best friend but I won’t hesitate to hurt him if he hurts Takahiro.”

“Well, honey. That’s another thing that’s mutual. And I hope I won’t have to cut Taka if Issei gets hurt too.” Tooru sighs. “By looking at things, there’s two ways this could go.”

“What do you mean?”

“Either their relationship is going to get better and stronger or hell is going down.”

“Let’s hope it’s the former.”

 

“Sorry, sweetheart but daddy don’t think it’s right for me to leave Takahiro alone when I promised him that it would be the three of us.”  Issei caresses Mio’s cheek, it didn’t settle with him all too well leaving Takahiro alone. But of course he takes Mio out as promised.

“Daddy, don’t go.” Mio –again is on the verge of tears at the thought of Issei leaving.

“Now, now don’t go crying on me. Mio is a good girl right?” Issei says softly to his daughter to which she nods slowly. “Then don’t cry, daddy will come again. I will – it’s just I don’t feel good leaving Taka alone. I’m sorry baby.” He sighs.

“Promise you’ll come back?” She wipes her teary eyes. Issei smiles and hugs his daughter, “Of course. I promise I’ll always come back.”

“Okay.” She whispers.

“I have to go now, be good to your mother. I love you.” Issei kisses her forehead and stands up. “I’m sorry for the mess that happened today. I’ll call you soon. Bye.” Issei tells Saho.

“Issei, please tell Takahiro that I’m so sorry about what happened today.” Saho looks at Issei straight in the eye. “Please make sure he’s okay.”

“I will.”

Issei opens the text he got from Hajime just under half an hour ago that made him worry. Issei gets in the car and drives to the other side of the town where Takahiro is apparently at. It’s weird. Why is he at a cemetery? Whose grave is it, and out of the many places he could have gone to why a cemetery? And is this what he meant by his Tokyo? It’s clear that he has a past in Tokyo that would explain a lot as to why he wasn’t known to the elite community.

When the light turns red he checks the time – a little pass noon. It’s getting cold in Tokyo and he hopes Takahiro hasn’t been at the cemetery for a long time of he could get sick. He should have not rushed things with Mio. It was too good to be true, he should have known it. And definitely shouldn’t have allowed Takahiro to wander off alone even if he knew his way around. Knowing Takahiro, he probably has a lot on his mind right now and all he hopes for is that his husband won’t pull away from him again.

He hates seeing Takahiro acting like a stranger and shutting out people. The antsy feeling creeping up on him isn’t helping – he doesn’t know what’s wrong but his guts his telling him that something bad is coming. And he can’t fathom what it is, the worst thing that could happen already happened with Mio. So what was going bothering him so much? Cursing under his breath Issei steps on the gas, dying to reach his husband as fast as possible. Driving through traffic with the radio on low, his fingers taps on the steering wheel – he realises that he is going towards the outer part of the town. A more residential place – somewhere families with growing kids would be living in. He passes by an elementary school and probably a few kindergartens along the way.

This isn’t somewhere he thought he would be at and soon he parks his car near a park and continues by foot, the cemetery isn’t too far now. Just a walk uphill and he will arrive at the cemetery. It’s winter and there isn’t a lot of people outside –well it isn’t an ideal weather to be out and about in let alone be heading to a cemetery. A part of him feels silly for worrying about Takahiro because it’s clear that the man is capable of taking care of himself. But it doesn’t help him feel any less restless. He reaches the top of the hill and sees the rows of gravestones lined up. He follows the pathway of rocks and he continues walking until he recognises the lone figure sitting on the ground –hugging his knees close to his body.

He approaches Takahiro and once he’s close enough, “Hey.”

Takahiro turns so quickly it looks like it hurt, “Hey…” He stares at Issei with a surprised look. “Why are you here?”

“I was looking for you.” Issei sits down beside him. “Are you okay? I’m sorry about Mio.”

Ignoring the question, Takahiro’s eyebrow furrow, “How did you know I was here?”

Now he knows why he was feeling antsy. By the tone of his voice he can tell that a fight will be coming their way. Takahiro is catching up on something and it’s something that Issei been hiding for a long time. Takahiro doesn’t know about him and Iwaizumi being in contact at times. He doesn’t know that Issei has Iwaizumi’s number and he’s pretty sure he doesn’t want Takahiro to know _how_ he got it. He doubts Takahiro would even give Iwaizumi his number – they aren’t on the best term to begin with.

“Issei. Answer me.” Takahiro’s voice is stern and not like how he usually is. Issei understands it. “No one knows I am here. No one knows I come here.”

There’s a pause, before Takahiro glares at him. “Hajime. He’s the only one.”

“Iwaizumi told me you were here and asked me to check up on you. I was worried too you know. After what happened with Mio.” Issei confesses.

“How did he get in touch with you? I never gave him your number or gave you his number.” Takahiro gets up and Issei follows suit.

He holds Takahiro’s forearms carefully, thinking of how to tell his husband what he did months ago out of desperation but what he did is not acceptable he knows it.

“Yea, you never gave it to either of us. But it’s not his fault.” Issei looks at the simmering anger on Takahiro’s face. “I reached out first –to him. I went through your phone.”

“You what?” Takahiro asks in disbelief.

“I went through your phone to look for his number, I swear that was all I did.” Issei hold him firmly and his mind races on how I can calm Takahiro down.

“All you did?” Takahiro scoffs and pulls his hand away from Issei. “You had no business going through my phone like that!” His voice starts to raise.

“I know – I know it was wrong of me to do that. I’m sorry. Taka, please forgive me.” Issei begs, reaching for Takahiro’s hand but the latter backs away.

He swats Issei’s hand away, “No –don’t even try to touch me.”

Takahiro walks towards Issei and shoves him, he’s sad –hurt even at the thought of Issei not having trust in him “I don’t care about you having a child out of wedlock because I figured that there had to be someone before me. We were strangers before marriage, I can’t be angry for that. But you going through my phone makes it seem like you don’t trust me.” Takahiro shouts at Issei. “Don’t you trust me?” His voice drops and Issei grabs on his arm again this time he doesn’t fight it instead he looks down at his dirty shoes.

“Taka. I didn’t mean it like that. I was desperate and guilty. You were so hurt by me I just wanted to make up with you and I didn’t have a single clue about you. That’s why I looked for Iwaizumi’s number.” Issei pleads. “Taka please. I know it’s my fault. It was wrong of me. Please forgive me.”

Takahiro wrench his arm out of Issei’s hold. “Leave me alone! I’m going home by myself. Don’t you fucking dare follow me.” And with that Takahiro dashes off out of the cemetery. Issei yells into the sky and pulls at his hair before crouching down in defeat. Issei puts his hands to his eyes, “Damn you Takahiro.” He mutters under his breath.

 

Takahiro runs without much thought, it takes him back to his high school days when he would run more than necessary just to get the constricting feeling in his chest out and there were times he would stumble down because his sight was too blocked with tears and today is one of those days. He stops in the middle of a vacant street, huffing for air while wiping his tears away. He squats down with his arms in front of his face, he breathes through his mouth, taking large quantity of air in at a time hoping it would just help before standing up again. There were some eyes on his but it doesn’t matter to him he keeps on walking. A grown man walking down a street with red puffy eyes must be a sight for them and he couldn’t give a single care. He just wants to be alone.

 

Issei drives around town looking for his husband but to no avail he finds himself driving back to Sendai alone. Pissed at himself for doing something stupid. Maybe he could have just talked to Takahiro at that time and it would have worked out but instead he did what he did. All he could do is hope for the best, he needs to give Takahiro space to cool down. Maybe then they could talk at home, if Takahiro is up for it, if he’s not then it’s the cold treatment for him until he’s ready. It doesn’t matter if he gets the cold shoulder, as long as Takahiro is back home and safe that’s all that matters at this point. He tried calling but it goes straight to voice mail, not a shocker. He hasn’t told Iwaizumi about this, if he did tell there’s going to be a punch in the face waiting for him. It’s going to be a longer drive home alone.

 

He arrives home a little past 10:30, he got caught in traffic in the highway near Sendai and stopped for dinner along the way. The long day takes a toll on him and he hopes that he finds Takahiro in their bedroom, it didn’t matter if he gets the cold shoulder as long as his husband is home. “I’m home.” Issei announces as he takes off his shoes. Without much thought Issei races the stairs and swing the door to their shared bedroom open – hoping to see Takahiro. But the bedroom is dark and it just as how they left it this morning. His heart beat picks up and worry floods every inch of him, cold sweat begins pouring out of Issei. At this point anything could have happened, he dials Takahiro’s number and again it goes through to voice mail. Giving up on calling Takahiro he goes down to check if he was just out at the small garden or with his parents. Issei runs down –almost slipping on the steps and heads to the living room where his parents are lounging in.

“Issei, welcome home. Where’s Takahiro?” His mother greets him. Issei’s heart drops at the question. “Issei? Are you okay?” Now it’s his father who questions him. “Takahiro, isn’t back. I need to look for him.” Issei mutters before leaving the house in a rush. Although he doesn’t have any clue to where Takahiro could be at all he knows it he has to look for him. He figures somewhere near the house should be the first place he should be looking at. So he jogs down the street knowing that there’s a small neighbourhood park down the street. “Please be safe.” Issei breathes out – ignoring how his knees could buckle any second. Sadly, the park is empty and deserted, Issei keeps on walking around while calling out Takahiro’s name. He has no clue to where the male could be and if it would take all night then it would just what be what he needs to do.

Several hours pass by – Sendai isn’t a small town, their neighbourhood isn’t small. His parents have called him also worried about Takahiro but he insists that they not worry too much and go to bed while he looks for Takahiro. He doesn’t tell them about what happened at Tokyo, they don’t need to know this is between Issei and Takahiro and it shall stay that way. With no other leads to where Takahiro could be, Issei goes down to the river bank. It’s further away from their house, this is a part of Sendai where Issei barely went even in his teen year. His school was in opposite direction to this area. His steps are heavy at this hour and his barely feels his sole. That’s when he sees someone sitting by the river bank – the person he’s been looking for all this time. Issei doesn’t rush down to Takahiro instead he steps on the grass slowly, not creeping – just walking with all the weight on his shoulder falling down one step at a time. Relief just washes over like how a breeze of wind would hit him. Once down where Takahiro is, he sits beside the male.

Takahiro turns his head to the side and sees Issei. A swell comes up his throat and tears well up, he isn’t sad nor are the tears a product of anger. He doesn’t know what causes that particular reaction but it happens and he leans into Issei’s shoulder. Only then Issei allows himself to put an arm on Takahiro’s shoulder, bringing him closer into Issei. “You’re freezing cold.” Issei doesn’t too happy with that fact. He doesn’t speak even when Issei pulls away from his and takes of his jacket only to wrap it around Takahiro. Takahiro gives him a sad smile, it’s half assed but Issei doesn’t care about it. “Let’s go home now.” Issei holds out his hand. Takahiro takes it and follows Issei home.

_Home. Their home._

His fingers grip on the blanket around his shivering body, all he wants to do is lay down and be will away by sleep but he’s waiting for Issei even though he knows he can just sleep first. Out the window he could sees a little crack of light on the sky –it’s near dawn and both of them are exhausted from what happened the day before and thankfully skipping a day wouldn’t hurt Takahiro that much. Issei comes out of the bathroom soon and he sees Takahiro still awake with his back towards Issei and faces the window. He slips behind Takahiro silently – softly he whispers, “Come here. You’re shaking.”

There isn’t that much different in height between them, Issei’s just a little taller than Takahiro is but he manages to always make Takahiro feel much smaller than he actually is. Takahiro flinch at the loss of warmth from the blanket for a second before Issei holds him in his arms and wraps the blanket around both of them. It’s warmer, he thinks and leans into Issei. He doesn’t feel like talking and his husband seems to understand it. They watch the sky get lighter by the minute without any sound – not even when the alarm blare and is shut in record time. Takahiro shifts in Issei’s arms, getting a lot warmer than he initially was. Issei rests his chin on Takahiro’s head as his hand mindlessly move up and down Takahiro’s arm in attempt to warm him up.

“Aren’t you going to work?” Takahiro finally speaks.

Issei shakes his head, “Not when you’re like this. You should get some sleep.”

“You should too.” He pulls out of Issei’s hold and lays down, tugging Issei down with him. “You look exhausted.”

“Well, I am but that’s okay.” Issei shrugs.

Silence sets in again as Takahiro slides back into Issei’s embrace.

“I’m sorry.” Issei whispers.

“Me too, for shouting at you.”

“I won’t do it again.”

“You better not. Just ask next time.”

“Hey, Issei, why weren’t you with Mio, I told you I’ll tell you where I was.” He rests his face near Issei’s shoulder.

“I got worried.” Issei answers immediately.

“You didn’t have to, plus you were supposed to be with Mio.” He sighs.

“I’ll still worry about you. After what happened.” Issei looks down at Takahiro.

“You didn’t have to go that far even if you were worried.”

Issei touches his cheeks. “It’s perfectly normal for me to worry that much about you and go running around looking for you.”

“Why?”

“Because I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Struggled with this chapter a lot but I hope you guys like it. Thank you for the support and the sweet comments sorry I haven't replied to them TnT Thankfully my class got cancelled for the day hence I could finish this and update after so long hahahahah I'm sorry. Thank you for reading ❤️ 
> 
> Edit: Made a mistake, it's fixed now ahaha XD

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments are loved, please do comment on how you think this was. This will be a slow update sadly. Pray for me to keep on writing this. ToT


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